As the New Year rolled around and 2008 became nothing but a distant memory, I stared at the man beside me in the huge king-size bed with posters in the ceiling in Ohio and wondered,” Was I finally going to have a man in my life that I did not emotionally kill?.” I mean he was a gorgeous specimen of a man, tall, dark, handsome, smart, intelligent, ambitious and most of all funny - all of the qualities that I love. Of course I had also tested out the goods if you know what I mean and this man was a definite keeper with a capital K. I don’t care what us girls say, ‘Size and functionally does matter! Newsflash to all the guys, it does! He was a definite plus and I could see myself growing old with him but as all women know, if the man does not know what he has in front of him, it will never ever work!
I mean here I am, 40 years old, attractive, but still no ring on my finger as Beyonce sings as she flashes her 5 million dollar ring wedding ring. (what a show-off). I am baffled, as most of my friends and especially my mother are as to why I am still single. I cannot count the amount of times my mother has sat in our family dining room ,looked me seriously in the eye and asked,“ Sandy, are you sure that you are not a lesbian? Why you don’t have a man? Do you want to die alone? I figured that she must know a thing or two, she is 60 years old and has been single for almost 20 years.
I cannot say that I have not had my chances to become a wife or a significant partner to a few good men but for some reason it has never gotten to that final stage. Some of the times I honestly think that I messed up my own chances of marriage. There was the ambitious lawyer boyfriend in Atlanta who loved me dearly and only begged me to “Lay in the bed with me Sandy and hug me,” he said. At that time of my life it was all about my career and laying in bed with him in the middle of the day seemed like such a waste of time my valuable time. I do miss him sometimes though, he taught me to smell the roses and relax sometimes. Then there was the personal trainer who begged me to be his “second wife” as he puts it. He was married already of course but just wanted to take care of me. Of course I said “Thanks, but no thanks.” I mean geez, why would I want to be with a married man no matter how much money a month he wanted to give me for my bills? Needless to say after my flat-out no, he refused to train me anymore. “I will not make you any sexier for any other man,” he said. Men! Such babies!
Then there was the other businessman from Georgia who offered me a Visa to the United States, $20,000 worth of credit cards and a business to boost me along as long I remained his “Woman.”. I mean he was truly nice and all but he started acting kind of crazy in my opinion, threatening me, crying on the phone, emailing me every two seconds. I like a man that shows me that he truly cares but I don’t like a nut job, Visa or no Visa. Of course, I ran from him as if I heard news as we would say. To this day I still envision him walking around, mumbling to himself somewhere in the suburbs of Georgia. My girlfriend says that I must have “layed” it on him too good and so he was a little bit whipped. I’ll run with that, my stuff is good or so I have been told!!
Trust me friends, the life a single girl is fulfilling and interesting to say the least, but with no one to share it with, at times it seems meaningless. I keep thinking that I am too picky and set in my ways so therefore I am single and without an official man by my side. I truly do have high hopes for this sexy brother and myself in Ohio and like most women with a new love, I am intrigued by him. Occasionally, we do have our moments of anger and miscommunication, but his demeanor, self confidence and ability to stay toe to toe with me is at times quite humorous. He says that I that I wear him out but in my opinion he should consider himself lucky that he is even getting the chance. Do you know how many men want to get worn out by me? I ask him jokingly. I have to put him in his place sometimes of course. Women need to know their worth and I know mine!
I have come to the conclusion after pondering this issue intently over the last few weeks that I am not the one choosing a partner for me. Those past relationships did not work because they were not supposed to. Not to get religious here but the higher power up above I believe knows who is good for me and whom I am good for. I am getting preparation for the “One.” As women, we need to trust the Universe and not to settle with anything other than the best. We often tend to look at our age, as my mother does, as a sign that it is time to find that perfect man and settle down, no matter what is wrong in our relationships. Being emotional creatures, our tendency is to make decisions based on feelings, and often times desperation, as our age increases.
Being 40 and single is not a badge that I wear with honor but it is a true testament that I, Ms. Sandy Daley, is still hopeful that my prince will ride along on a white horse, with good credit and white teeth of course. He will whisk me up, kiss me squarely on my lips and whisper in my ear, “Where have you been all my life?” I wonder if Mr. Ohio knows how to ride a horse?
Jamaican-born, Toronto-bred beauty Sandy Daley is an actress, radio personality in Miami, television producer and a mother. Sandy has acted in over 15 films to date which has garnered her local and international exposure. Her charismatic, sometimes off-beat humor, highlights her uniqueness as an artist and is seen as one of the reasons for her longevity in the entertainment business.
