Thursday, November 29, 2012
Tuesday, November 27, 2012
Saturday, November 17, 2012
Cream always rises to the top!
Cream always rises to the top!
Maryanne Williamson famously wrote, “Our
deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are
powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that frightens us
most. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and
famous?' Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing
small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so
that people won't feel insecure around you. We were born to make manifest the
glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in all of us.
And when we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people
permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence
automatically liberates others.” This has always been my mantra, my war cry, as
I forge ahead in life and look to no human being for approval or acceptance. The
sad thing however is that we pass these negative, “I cannot do this or that”
attitude unto our children and this must stop. What are your fears? Why are you
not trying to “be all you can be”, as the United States Army suggests? I am
happy to report that at this moment in time, I am a true believer in the abilities
of Ms. Sandy Daley, and most importantly, I also try to encourage others around
me to shine.
This confidence that I have
finally attained (notice that I said confidence, not cockiness), not only apply
to my work, but also manifest itself in my intimate relationships. I am comfortable
standing on a stage handing out awards in front of thousands, and I am also
confident in a one on one situation with the opposite sex-although still
happily unmarried. Although statistics
show that the percentage of black people marrying is more than it has been
since the late 1970’s, the overall average of black women who will remain
unmarried is staggering. According to the stats, at least 45% of black women
are unmarried and the numbers are even higher if you are a successful black
woman. Many things can be attributed to this study, as not only do black women
outnumber black men, but many black men are incarcerated, already married, gay,
or have married outside of their own race. Many guys however, would state that
black women are too “bitter”, are always fussing, and set their standards too
high. When polled, black men also state that they are then turned off from
dating black women or even marrying them. “Black women are too strong-willed,
too stubborn, negative and too argumentative,” a friend of mine said recently.
“If only you guys could be a little bit more feminine, and not as fussy, we
would marry you.” As I listened to this
crock of baloney that Donovan (of course not his real name), was spewing, I calmed
myself and thought about what to say-before I answered him. I tend to agree
with some of the things that he was saying, but still believed that he needed
to be corrected on a few. As I have known him for many years, and wanted to
keep him as a friend, I chose my words carefully. His ignorance was nauseating,
but I wanted to help him out at this point.
“If it was not for the “strength”
of the black woman, which you so despise, your children, that perhaps not you,
but a lot of your “brothas” have neglected, would be on the streets or in
foster care,” I started off by saying. “The fact that we have had to take care
for your children, financially and emotionally, should be seen as something to
be honored, respected and praised by you. Our strength also allows us NOT to
take the easy road, as many of you have done,” I finished off by saying. I
think I let him off very easily here my friends, as my tongue is like a whip,
able to snap anyone back into their position: very, very quickly.
With that said, remain open
hearted, and able to love others. This includes everyone around you, even your
enemies. Difficult as this may be, it is doable, as your goal is not become a
naysayer or waste your time focusing on others. Your goal is to rise to the top
through hard work, focus and a resolute stance. Be childlike and live with a kind
heart, as your rewards will be abundant. The painful situations that many of us
have had to endure, have seemingly robbed us of many things, including care and
love for our fellow man, and also love for ourselves. Many of us are
downtrodden, tired and weary, and have given up on our dreams and aspirations,
and are now shadows of what we could have been. We have given up on ourselves,
and “play small” in order to fit in with others, and end up living an
unfulfilled life. We tear others down in order for us not to feel “less than”
and in so doing, allow the Donovan’s of this world to call us bitter, fussy or
even unattractive- because of our attitudes.
Ladies, play small to no human being,
as at the end of the day, only God can be your judge or jury. Trust me, with
this newfound behaviour and attitude, the Donovan’s of this world (misguided as
they may be at times), will have no choice but to say, “Baby, you are certainly
my chocolate cream!” Being confident, self-assured, focused and with no
negative attitude, will allow your potential mate to see the real you, and not
your representative.
Friday, November 16, 2012
The Holiday Blahs
 |
| Add caption |
Tips:
1. Throw a party for you and your single girlfriends. Nothing beats the holiday blues like a party!
2. Hit the gym! Not only will you be eating extra with all the holiday parties and family outings that you will be attending, but working out increases your endorphins and keeps you in a great mood.
3. Begin to plan for the new year ahead! The christmas season is a definite indicator that a new year is approaching, so why not put your plans in place from now on? Look ahead to the future and not backwards!
4. Don't overspend! The holiday season is not the time to get yourself into financial ruin. Manage your spending wisely and that includes spending excessively on gifts etc. Trust me, doing this will add to your depressed mood if you are already feeling that way.
5. Last but not least- enjoy the holidays and be thankful for what you have! Many times we look at the things that we do not have, ie. say a partner, a boyfriend or even a husband and we forget to be thankful for the things that God has done for us thus far. Be patient, as the right man will come along! So, enjoy your single status until things change. Being content with one's self, especially at this time, will allow you to be more appreciative of everything else when things do change.
Saturday, November 10, 2012
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)