Tuesday, June 26, 2018
Sunday, May 27, 2018
A non-committal man? : A bottle of baby oil, mood lights and a porno should be his love choice!
Aww, it’s good to be back home! So, ladies, so you have found your Mr. Wonderful! Tall, dark, handsome, with bow legs, a great sense of humor, a great job and an enormous 401K. The only problem is, your Mr. Wonderful refuses to commit. “Baby, you know that it has nothing to do with you right?” he asks. “I mean, you’re a great girl and all: sexy, smart, cute, any man’s dream woman. It’s just that right now I know that I am not ready for a relationship,” he continues to say. Listening to him reminds of you a broken record, doesn’t it ladies? We’ve all heard this tune before. The only question is, why did he refuse to say this at the very offset of the relationship? Why not before you made wild passionate love beneath the stars, by the fireplace, or with the sand and waves crashing on the beach, in wonderful majestic love-filled nights? Why wait until you have become emotionally involved, discussing work, family conflicts and dreams of the future? At the end of the day, the blame lays squarely on your shoulders, as you did not apply due diligence, and wholeheartedly with lovestruck eyes, jumped into a situation before instilling some of the golden rules of dating. One such rule is to: never become intimate with a man until you have both agreed upon the definite parameters of the relationship. Your job, at the very beginning of every relationship, is to ask direct, focused questions by enquiring about your new man’s expectations and whether he is ready for a relationship. Your goal is to discover your role in his life, as he sees it. ‘What do you want from me, my brother?’, should be sewn on as many t-shirts as you can possible find. As difficult as these questions may be, they are necessary, as these questions will give you a bird’s eye view on the man that is in front of you. Sure, it’s not all about what he wants, but by listening keenly to his answers, you will be able to make a clear, concise decision on whether you want to have a continued relationship with this man: and in what capacity. Will he then be shafted to the ‘he’s just a friend’ zone, or will you continue to see him as a ‘friend with benefits?’: depending on how amazing his lovemaking is of course. At the end of the day, the choice is yours. My own personal choice? Being an all or nothing type of lady, he would be banished to the ‘you are not allowed to say anything out of the ordinary to me’. In other words, no sexual innuendos, jokes, flirtations, or suggestions. His confusing behaviour is not my burden to carry and he needs to work on that: on his own. Of course, there would be no hatred towards him, as I wholeheartedly believe that there is someone amazingly wonderful out there in the universe for me: unfortunately, our stars have not yet connected. In the interim, I refuse to be his ‘in between woman’, while he figures out his life. Your Mr. Wonderful should not be allowed to receive the sweetness of your fruit, if he himself has nothing to offer. It’s like to going to the grocery store, filling up a cart with groceries and then going to the cash register with no money in hand: nothing but a big grin on your face. You are not his ‘Stop and Shop’! If he has nothing to offer emotionally, then his loving should be regulated to a bottle of baby oil, mood lights and a steamy video or magazine of his choice!
Monday, January 5, 2015
Is He a Mr. Right, or a Mr. Right Now?
Is He a Mr. Right, or a Mr. Right Now?
Actress, singer and entertainer Cher once wisely said, "A girl can wait for the right man to come along, but in the meantime that still doesn't mean she can't have a wonderful time with all the wrong ones!" I have always loved Cher as she is a very talented artist, but it is obvious to me that she is also a very wise woman.
What is a poor girl to do while waiting for Mr. Right to walk through the front door or ride in on his white horse? How does she pass the time?
I myself have always known the type of man that would make me want to at least “slow down” one day. Of course he would have to be worldly, educated, funny, full of swag, a little bit hood and romantic at the same time. He certainly had to be ambitious, self-driven, Godly, compromising and also respectful of his elders and his heritage.
He also had to be confident, meeting most of my requirements, and certainly not breaking my “deal breaker” requests- and there are many. Tall order right? Could such a man be alive and not just be a figment of my imagination? Perhaps so, but in the meantime, one seemingly has to kiss a lot of frogs to find one's Mr. Right!
To be completely honest with you, I myself thought that this man would never surface, a dream never to be full-filled, as I envisioned myself with a geeky-looking man with thick-rimmed glasses as my back-up. He would be saying, “Yes Sandy” or “Anything you want Sandy”, as I shouted at him rudely for leaving the toilet seat up: again.
The thought of a “Yes Man”, not able to hold his ground with me when I challenged him, and challenge him I will, repelled me to my core as I know that this type of man would not stand a chance with me.
As I do not intend to add to the increasingly high ratio of divorce or infidelity which has plagued our society over the last few years, (recent studies reveal that 45-55 % of married women and 50-60 % of married men engage in extramarital relationship at some point of their relationship); I will not marry unless I am 100 percent sure of my choice.
Why marry someone whom you might not be entirely attracted to in the first place? Why add to the statistics is my question? Believe you me, I am as modern as the next woman, but also as old-fashioned as your Pentecostal aunt scurrying to Church every Sunday, with her bible clutched tightly to her bosom.
You know that aunt right? The one that complains to your mother by stating, “God forbid the young ladies of today who have no morals to stand on and can’t boil water to save their lives, much less know how to keep a man happy and get him to marry her.” My apologies my friends, I do digress, as that is my life!
The way how I rationalize things these days in order to make sense of it all, is that one has to go through a lot of pain and suffering in order for you to figure out their likes and dislikes when choosing a partner. You must have a guider of sorts in order to steer you in the right direction. If not, you will be nothing more than a loose leaf blowing aimlessly in the wind, landing anywhere and nowhere of substance.
Closely examine your relationship or situation with a man as you would a job, only moving forward if there is a probability of emotional gains, rewarded investment or a rainbow at the end of a long road. You have to know what you want from a man, and know what you deserve.
Approach the situation with teenager-like qualities, still willing to believe in love and throwing all caution to the wind; but still fully in control of yourself. Do not be that loose leaf in the wind, blowing under cars or on top of trees, as if you have no say in what happens to your life.
At the end of the day, being happy is all that you should strive to be, even if you have to be alone for a minute or two. You also need to remember that Rome was not built in one day, so therefore your Mr. Right might take his sweet little time to get to you.
In the meantime, there is nothing wrong with dating a Mr. Right Now; at least he will further demonstrate to you, what you want and do not want from a man. Count it as a blessing!
Friday, December 20, 2013
Wednesday, February 6, 2013
Saturday, December 1, 2012
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