Where is my chocolate and flowers?

I am a 40 year old, single woman, who has not had a good relationship in five years and has no solid prospect in sight.

As Valentine's Day went by and the ads bombarded my everyday life like a truck coming at you with no brakes on, it hit me once again at the sad state of my love life.

Don't get me wrong, I am not upset because I am alone, I am more disheartened by the fact that I have no one to love. I long to cook, clean, take care of others and as this Valentine's day past and with no Valentine, again, I am left feeling like I have no purpose. Nothing brings me more pleasure than making others happy. Seeing my children's faces if I do something nice or my man's reaction when I rub his feet or when I put on that sexy lingerie makes my day. Which brings me to ask, "Was Valentines Day created to the barometer test of your true worth as a Woman? If as a woman, you are alone on Valentine's Day, with no loved one beside you, have you failed as a woman?

Sure, I have had some successful relationships in the past where on Valentines Day I was worshipped and adorned with gifts and words of love and great intimacy, but over the past few years I have been alone on Valentine's Day. This year is no different and for some reason it is hitting me harder at the thought of being alone. I am not too sure what to attribute this to, maybe the loss of a potential love that I was so hopeful for over the past few months or it may be the fact that I am 40 years old with no solid prospect in sight.

Many women that I know of, happily celebrating this day, supposedly in love, I know are living a life of lies and are not really happy. Yet they continue to play out the facade as if they are, happily running to the store to get gifts for their loved ones.

I see a lot of women,misguided and confused,running around on Valentines Day, rushing for chocolate, making that special dinner, buying the sexy lingerie and still knowing that they are not being loved the way how they should be by their men. You will see them in the stores, hitting you over the head for the last box of chocolate, fighting for that red lingerie at Victoria Secret, buying the crotch less underwear, picking out the wine, forever living the lie, pretending that they are in a great relationship.

Believe me, this is not the jealous ranting of a woman with no man. I would rather be alone on Valentines Day, pride intact, than to be with a man that is not treating me properly. " I just don't want to be alone on Valentine's Day,” says another friend of mine. "It seems unnatural." Although I understand her point of view because women are natural caregivers and love to take care of others, what is so wrong with being alone on this day? Maybe I am a little bit harsher than a lot of my friends and tough to handle, but I still think that the love that I have for myself outweighs the love for any man that I will ever have.

So to conclude, I do not think that I have failed as a woman because I have no special Valentine, (again), this year. I see it as the glass half full. In other words, my love is so important to me and should be also to the man that is on the receiving end that I continue to be choosy as to whom I should bestow my love to. As women, we should see ourselves as being so invaluable, so precious that the approaching Valentine's day should not be a gage stick as to our worth as women, but rather an affirmation of our unbelievable gift as women to be the rock of our families.

In my opinion, if as this Valentine's Day approaches and you are running around the stores like a mad woman, knowing that you are living a lie, the only person who really loses is you as your self esteem takes another beating because of what you are accepting in your love relationship. I am not trying to discourage you from putting on that special lingerie, or buying the wine. However, what I am encouraging is that on this special day, remember who you are, accept nothing but the best for yourself and your family. You should demand honesty and loyalty from your man because without that, Valentine's Day is just a joke. Your man should treat you as a gem, invaluable to him, the center of his world and you should feel as such. If not, you are both just playing games, being used as pawns on Valentine's Day to boost business sales.