Playing Dumb to Keep Your Man!
They say that a smart woman rules the home but makes her man believe that he is the King of his castle. A woman’s job, people say, is to be smart enough to know when to take a backseat, while allowed the while being the driver of the car. She must allow her partner to make his mistakes, and when he is ready and willing, he will do as she desires. Her role, they say, is to make her man feel wanted, loved, admired and respected, all without emasculating him in the process. How tiring! Who really has the time for all that work, plus all the other things that one has to take care of? Certainly not me! Then again, maybe that is why I single with no one by my side.
Women are expected to care for the kids, maintain a clean home, bring home the bacon, and at the same time look like Halle Berry and Beyonce combined. The last time I checked, Wonder Woman was the last Superwoman, and she was a fictional character, cultivated from someone’s imaginary mind. The funny thing though is that many women, including myself, try to live up to these unreasonable expectations. I cannot tell you the amount of times that I jumped out of bed at 7 am to prepare my ex-husband’s ham sandwich for lunch for the day, or pack him a lunch container from the previous night’s dinner. This, of course, was after making passionate love to him in the morning before his day began. Gosh, he was a lucky man! Why did we break up again? Oh I remember now, he cheated on me with the pretty little Pilipino girl at work, while getting all the loving at home as well. How could I have ever forgotten? I am not saying that all men cheat, because trust me, I really do not believe that, but he did, so I left!
I, of course would also get the kids ready for school, work full-time, visit the gym regularly and still take care of the home. This cycle continued on for years in my household. I am positive I am not the only woman who has done this type of crazy, I am Superwoman, hear me roar, utter madness. To make matters worse, I was not allowed to take full credit for all my work, and to this day my ex still maintains the position that he held our family together for years. What a bunch of crock! I am so happy that I do not have to feed his ego anymore. ‘Let little Miss Pilipino take over the work of cooking, cleaning, feeding his ego,” I said to myself. “It was time for me to bust loose from my chains,” I thought
My nickname for him was, and still is, “Captain of the Ship, master of nothing.” I remember him very vividly saying to me on many occasions, “Sandy, yu no think yu should tell Shane and Warren, (our two boys), to use a coaster on the centre table?” he would ask. Why could he not tell them I thought to myself back then? Was I the only parent in the house? He was truly not a bad person and we are very to this day, much to the chagrin of his current wife. The lady has self esteem issues, what else can I say? In my mind, his current wife is now his court jester. The baton has been passed to her and passed willingly by me!
The thought of me continuously feeding my ex-husband’s ego on a daily basis really got to me and so I felt compelled to leave. Coupled with the fact that he of course stepped out of our relationship. Am I the only one who sees the injustice and unfairness in this? Why do women have to in turn play the fool to keep their man happy and his ego intact? Maybe this is why I am unmarried and still very single!
Maybe one of these days I will learn to play de fool in order to keep my man! Not yet! I am not ready for that as yet!
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