Monday, October 12, 2009

Yogasm instead of an Orgasm:Replacing love with a yoga mat!

According to the Statistics, sixty percent of black women have either never married or are divorced. Yikes! What should I and my single girlfriends attribute our dire situation to? Lack of good men? No, there are good men still out there it is believed. No time? No, we find the time to do whatever is necessary, even with our hectic schedules. A low sex drive? No, most women, including myself, are vibrant human beings with the stamina of a 25 year old young woman. So then, what was the real reason? Why are women not taking the bull by the horn and dating more to find that special person? Why is it that my yoga mat has seemingly replaced a desire for Mr. Right my life?

Like some women, I can be seen running on the streets frantically, or burning rubber on Highway 401, (cursing everyone in my way of course, even someone in a wheelchair that I almost ran over), as I rushed to catch my yoga class.To be fair to myself in that situation, I must say that the lady in the wheelchair came out of nowhere on the King Street. It was like she was driving a sports car or something! Ninety minutes of hot yoga torture, almost the exact amount of time for lovemaking, (foreplay not included of course). Of course the benefits are amazing to the overall look of the body, but what are tight, leaned, toned arms and a rounded rear- end if no one is there to appreciate your hard work? The ability to place one’s legs over one’s head does not come in handy in the office and surely goes wasted.

Of course I have become the butt of all my girlfriends’ jokes. “Sandy, u a go to your yoga again?” Yu no fraid seh u brok yu darn neck gal?” they ask Needless to say, their point hits home but an admission of guilt from me is never going to be done.“You guys are just jealous. You wish that you had my skills,” I often reply. Being able to perform the, “downward dog,” a popular yoga move which instructs you to put both hands and feet on the floor while pushing back with your legs and derriere in the air, easily achieved by me, surely cannot possible be accomplished by them I rationalize to myself.
It appears that a lot of successful women, do not make their relationships a priority: no time for love. Unless we change our daily routines and make time for love, our love lives will forever remain unfulfilled. You will forever be in your living rooms, alone, wondering why your girlfriends, some with bad credit, bad hair and wrinkled bodies , have husbands and you do not. Why you are not the one fighting with your man for the remote control or scolding him about leaving the toilet seat up. Again! How many times do you have to fall into the toilet, filled with water, before he listens? Aww,The joys of married life!

Hot yoga, fulfilling as it is for the 90 minutes, cannot replace the love of a good man. I, like all other over- achievers, must tackle the problem head on and stop the escapism: be it hot yoga, like mine. Escapism rears it’s ugly head in many forms and often consumes your thoughts and every action. Figure out what is yours and what you are running from . Hopefully soon I will be able to say, Namasta! (Yoga terminology which means I give you my light), to my lover instead of to a sweaty yoga mat, a really tanned instructor and strangers in tiny bikinis, and even tinier see-through Speedos.

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