Aww, it’s good to be back home! So, ladies, so you have found your Mr. Wonderful! Tall, dark, handsome, with bow legs, a great sense of humor, a great job and an enormous 401K. The only problem is, your Mr. Wonderful refuses to commit. “Baby, you know that it has nothing to do with you right?” he asks. “I mean, you’re a great girl and all: sexy, smart, cute, any man’s dream woman. It’s just that right now I know that I am not ready for a relationship,” he continues to say. Listening to him reminds of you a broken record, doesn’t it ladies? We’ve all heard this tune before. The only question is, why did he refuse to say this at the very offset of the relationship? Why not before you made wild passionate love beneath the stars, by the fireplace, or with the sand and waves crashing on the beach, in wonderful majestic love-filled nights? Why wait until you have become emotionally involved, discussing work, family conflicts and dreams of the future? At the end of the day, the blame lays squarely on your shoulders, as you did not apply due diligence, and wholeheartedly with lovestruck eyes, jumped into a situation before instilling some of the golden rules of dating. One such rule is to: never become intimate with a man until you have both agreed upon the definite parameters of the relationship. Your job, at the very beginning of every relationship, is to ask direct, focused questions by enquiring about your new man’s expectations and whether he is ready for a relationship. Your goal is to discover your role in his life, as he sees it. ‘What do you want from me, my brother?’, should be sewn on as many t-shirts as you can possible find. As difficult as these questions may be, they are necessary, as these questions will give you a bird’s eye view on the man that is in front of you. Sure, it’s not all about what he wants, but by listening keenly to his answers, you will be able to make a clear, concise decision on whether you want to have a continued relationship with this man: and in what capacity. Will he then be shafted to the ‘he’s just a friend’ zone, or will you continue to see him as a ‘friend with benefits?’: depending on how amazing his lovemaking is of course. At the end of the day, the choice is yours. My own personal choice? Being an all or nothing type of lady, he would be banished to the ‘you are not allowed to say anything out of the ordinary to me’. In other words, no sexual innuendos, jokes, flirtations, or suggestions. His confusing behaviour is not my burden to carry and he needs to work on that: on his own. Of course, there would be no hatred towards him, as I wholeheartedly believe that there is someone amazingly wonderful out there in the universe for me: unfortunately, our stars have not yet connected. In the interim, I refuse to be his ‘in between woman’, while he figures out his life. Your Mr. Wonderful should not be allowed to receive the sweetness of your fruit, if he himself has nothing to offer. It’s like to going to the grocery store, filling up a cart with groceries and then going to the cash register with no money in hand: nothing but a big grin on your face. You are not his ‘Stop and Shop’! If he has nothing to offer emotionally, then his loving should be regulated to a bottle of baby oil, mood lights and a steamy video or magazine of his choice!
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