No More Granny Panties Please

No More Granny Panties Please!
There is an old, unwritten rule which states, “A man wants a lady in the streets and a whore in the bedroom.” How is this accomplished by women wearing granny panties and tie heads to bed, especially during marriage? Effective as they may be to keep your weave intact and your rear warm, most men are turned off by this look.
Many women, not all of course, wear thongs, sexy lingerie, perfume and stilettos to get the man, but do nothing to keep him! These bad habits undeniably contribute to the infrequency of sex during marriage. Up to 48 percent of women, when polled ,admitted to faking an orgasm!

Some women also view sex as a “duty,” and refuse to make love to their mates unless forced to. Should wives not be vamping it up in the bedroom, swinging on the chandeliers or stripper poles, and whipping out the whipped cream, in order to keep their husbands satisfied? He has after all, “Put a ring on it,” like Beyonce sings, so give him the prize. Her H.O.V.A. or JZ, his surely getting his! He deserves it! Have you seen Beyonce’s rock?

Men, from all walks of life, complain daily about their “mistreatment” as they call it, at home. Loren, a very dear friend of mine, often complains to me about his wife’s lack of affection towards him, sexually and otherwise. I am held captive in his Nutrition store at least once a week, like a mouse caught in a trap. He really needs a physiatrist’s chair in his shop, as I am contemplating charging him for my opinions. “Sandy, yu know that the last time that we had sex was 3 months ago, and she will not approach me unless I insist on it?”, he says in his broken patois. Poor thing! I realize that he needs a shoulder to cry on and listen intently, while loudly drinking his blend of a protein shake, made with rich strawberries and almost ripe bananas.

Surprised, and at a loss for words I reply, “Loren, I am sure that if you talk to her she will come around,” I say to him. “Will I never learn?” I ask myself internally. I should know by now that I would not be able to leave on time once I have sat down. There goes my Desperate Housewives! Again! However, I am his friend so I ask, “Have you ever tried couples counseling or a couple’s retreat?” . I love gossip as much as the next woman, but picturing Loren banging his wife was indeed a turnoff, as I know them both very well.
His bald head, pale white skin and her slinky black legs and long weave, was too much for my poor little brain to handle. Many women however will defend Loren’s wife’s actions and admit to doing the same. “Who have time fe mek love? Me don’t even have time to even scratch me head!,” they say. Can we then only blame our men for cheating? Do we not play a role in it, sometimes?. Men are visual creatures; give them something at home to look at constantly.

I personally do not own a pair of granny panties myself ,as I enjoy seeing the toned rear that I have sculpted over the last few years. “Sandy, yu no fraid se u catch cold ina yu behind?” my friends ask. “No girl,” I often reply. “My rear is too tough for such a thing.”
Of course sex is not the most important part of a marriage, but it is still a very important part of a relationship. Ladies, you should also remember that whatever you will not do for your man, another woman will.


I guarantee you that Matey, as we lovingly call the girl on the side, has her thongs and stilettos! Outsmart her by wearing your thongs and stilettos to bed!