keep Your Bedroom Business Private

Keep your bedroom business private! When it comes to love, nothing is off limits, except your relationship itself. Love requires time, patience, honesty and also privacy. Nothing destroys a relationship faster than rumors, hear-says and as we say in Jamaica, “Carry go bring come!” The demise of that perhaps once “beautiful, might be the relationship of my life” situation, will weigh heavily on your heart, as you instantly recognize that gossip and of course your over-zealousness all contributed to the destruction of your relationship. Should you then not tell anyone if you are dating someone? Hide it from everyone but your immediate family? Make mention of it only if and when you are walking down the aisle? Maybe you need to, in order to keep your relationship intact! Most people would say “whatever happens between a man and a woman is their business”, and I tend to agree. There have been so many situations, even recent ones I might add, where my significant other, (S.K.), and I have experienced some bumpy roads in our relationship. Negative talk and destructive rumors nearly killed our beautiful union. It of course has led to miscommunication, vexation and caused a definite rift between the two of us. The rumors swirling around about my dating life and the mystic about S.K., has allowed the rumor mill to run amok. “But Sandy, you don’t know that you are a sort of celebrity figure now of sorts and everything that you do, people will want to know about it?” a friend of mine said to me recently. “I think that you are living underneath a rock if you can’t see that,” he went on to say. “Figure or no figure, I just want my relationship to be kept private,” I answered. “Not bloody likely,” my friend replied. However, once all the hoopla and pomp and circumstance were done with, and we actually sat down and spent time alone together, all the negative feelings went through the window. No longer did we have unresolved issues between us, unsolved and left to fester some more. The strain of the last few weeks seemed ridiculous and un-necessary, once we were able to just concentrate on us and not the outside world. Fortunately, what I learnt from this situation is that when given an opportunity to just relate to each other, with no one else interfering in their love life, a man and a woman might have a chance at creating a beautiful relationship. Without the negativity, the jealousness, the over-zealous on-lookers making statements behind our backs, we seemingly have a shot of making this relationship work. Hopefully we will not be included in the statistics, put out recently by randomhistory.com, that suggests that most couples breakup around three to five months of dating. This statistic of course does not make it a done deal for me as to how long this relationship will last, but it does work as a guide of sorts for us, as we attempt to form a long, lasting relationship. The wonderful feeling of knowing that your partner wants to be there with you of course is an amazing feeling and many say that this should be enough, but of course this is not so. Relationships are tough, difficult to maintain and anything that you have to do to ensure the success of that union, minus killing anyone or course, should be done. Privacy, I believe should be number one in a relationship, as this gives you the opportunity to really unite with one person on an emotional level. As difficult as this may seem, even for Sandy Daley, this will be done. At the end of the day, when I and S.K. are alone together, with no one else but us to think about, I see the potential, as you will too when you make your situation a priority, and no one else’s business but your own.

Can I be your bedroom bully?

The Charlotte Post - Author: Women run relationships

The Charlotte Post - Author: Women run relationships

Ben Johnson2.m4v

Screw Me like Tiger but pay me my 80 million dollars first

Screw me like Tiger, but pay me my 80 million dollars first!

To say that Tiger Wood’s indiscretions and extramarital affairs have been the most talked about story this week would be an understatement, as everyday more breaking news have surfaced. Men, women and children have been glued to the media outlets, watching as this squeaky clean sport celebrity’s private life is intruded upon daily, in full public view. It seems like Tiger was a freak behind closed doors!

As we learn about his numerous alleged affairs, all supposedly over the last few years, everyone has an opinion about his character and what his wife’s reaction should be. Women are up in arms about his doggish ways and some men, not surprisingly, are coming to his defense. Statistics report that over 75 percent of married men cheat, and most of them go for an extra affair within the first three years of their marriage.

Many married men, including some of my close friends, are asking, “So what is the big deal?” “Sandy, I could use a couple more pum pum’s right now miself. You just don’t understand how men think,” a very close, married friend of mine disclosed a couple days ago as we discussed the Wood’s situation. “Yu not a man, so you just don’t understand the sexual desires of men,” he tried to explain. Bewildered, yet curious to get to the bottom of this man woman business, I listened intently, while trying to interject a few points of my own. “Donovan, (obviously not his real name, but he would be very angry if I used his real name in this piece), I have the same sexual drive as you do Donovan,” I say to him. “I get turned on if I see a sexy man walking down the street with bow legs and 14 size shoes. Men just think with their little heads instead of their big heads,” I say to him. He chuckles and replies, “But yu different than most women Sandy. Most women don’t like to have sex that often.” “Yu don’t know my girlfriends,” I say to him. All Straight freaks, in my opinion!

Tiger , because of his “transgressions,” as he puts it, has now reportedly agreed to pay Elin Woods a whopping 5 million immediately ,plus an additional 75 million, up from the previously agreed upon 20 million in her pre-nuptial agreement ,if she agrees to stay with him over a certain period of time. Following on the heels of scandals surrounding other celebrities and sports superstars such as Kobe Bryant, David Letterman, Elliot Spitzer, and Michael Jordan just to name a few, Elin Woods has now officially joined the group being called, “Wives who are now stinking rich because of their husband’s inability to keep it in his pants,” group.

Where is my 80 million I ask? Should I then call up my ex-boyfriends and let them know that they actually owe me and my girlfriend’s money and that I would like it in cash immediately? How was it that I only walked away with tears and dirty boxers after a man who cheated on me left? Eighty million would certainly help me financially right now as I struggle to stay ahead of my bills in this tough economy.

So to all prospective boyfriends I say,” It is okay for you to cheat on me, as I,” as my friend Donovan insists, “don’t understand man business.” I will use your money wisely to ease the pain. New Manolo Blahnik shoes, Gucci handbags and a nice red Mercedes Convertible will certainly make me smile again. However, 30 year old muscular boy toy, with bow legs and size 14 shoes , and who is ready to please me in an instant ,will be my very first purchase, as I try to mend my poor broken heart.

So please, you can screw me like Tiger anytime baby! Just cut me the cheque first!

No More Granny Panties Please

No More Granny Panties Please!
There is an old, unwritten rule which states, “A man wants a lady in the streets and a whore in the bedroom.” How is this accomplished by women wearing granny panties and tie heads to bed, especially during marriage? Effective as they may be to keep your weave intact and your rear warm, most men are turned off by this look.
Many women, not all of course, wear thongs, sexy lingerie, perfume and stilettos to get the man, but do nothing to keep him! These bad habits undeniably contribute to the infrequency of sex during marriage. Up to 48 percent of women, when polled ,admitted to faking an orgasm!

Some women also view sex as a “duty,” and refuse to make love to their mates unless forced to. Should wives not be vamping it up in the bedroom, swinging on the chandeliers or stripper poles, and whipping out the whipped cream, in order to keep their husbands satisfied? He has after all, “Put a ring on it,” like Beyonce sings, so give him the prize. Her H.O.V.A. or JZ, his surely getting his! He deserves it! Have you seen Beyonce’s rock?

Men, from all walks of life, complain daily about their “mistreatment” as they call it, at home. Loren, a very dear friend of mine, often complains to me about his wife’s lack of affection towards him, sexually and otherwise. I am held captive in his Nutrition store at least once a week, like a mouse caught in a trap. He really needs a physiatrist’s chair in his shop, as I am contemplating charging him for my opinions. “Sandy, yu know that the last time that we had sex was 3 months ago, and she will not approach me unless I insist on it?”, he says in his broken patois. Poor thing! I realize that he needs a shoulder to cry on and listen intently, while loudly drinking his blend of a protein shake, made with rich strawberries and almost ripe bananas.

Surprised, and at a loss for words I reply, “Loren, I am sure that if you talk to her she will come around,” I say to him. “Will I never learn?” I ask myself internally. I should know by now that I would not be able to leave on time once I have sat down. There goes my Desperate Housewives! Again! However, I am his friend so I ask, “Have you ever tried couples counseling or a couple’s retreat?” . I love gossip as much as the next woman, but picturing Loren banging his wife was indeed a turnoff, as I know them both very well.
His bald head, pale white skin and her slinky black legs and long weave, was too much for my poor little brain to handle. Many women however will defend Loren’s wife’s actions and admit to doing the same. “Who have time fe mek love? Me don’t even have time to even scratch me head!,” they say. Can we then only blame our men for cheating? Do we not play a role in it, sometimes?. Men are visual creatures; give them something at home to look at constantly.

I personally do not own a pair of granny panties myself ,as I enjoy seeing the toned rear that I have sculpted over the last few years. “Sandy, yu no fraid se u catch cold ina yu behind?” my friends ask. “No girl,” I often reply. “My rear is too tough for such a thing.”
Of course sex is not the most important part of a marriage, but it is still a very important part of a relationship. Ladies, you should also remember that whatever you will not do for your man, another woman will.


I guarantee you that Matey, as we lovingly call the girl on the side, has her thongs and stilettos! Outsmart her by wearing your thongs and stilettos to bed!

Good hair or Good Sex

Good Hair or Good Sex? Which would you choose?
To say that Chris Rock has stirred up deeply rooted emotions, warranted or unwarranted, amongst black women in his new film, “Good Hair,” would be an understatement. The movie, a satirical look at black women and their hair, has received critical acclaim from the critics, but sneers and snubs from the “Sistas” and is now a water cooler topic.” “Why examine ourselves and put our business out in the public?. Don’t we have enough troubles?,” they ask.

It is staggering the amount of money spent by black women on their hair, contrary to their white girlfriends. Collectively, we spend over 9 billion dollars for our hair to look white every year ,and individually over $800, and this is just on relaxers alone. To take it even one step further, many women, have happily forfeited a prospective love making session, terrified that their hair might get ruined! Some even charge the men if their hair gets messed up!

My appointment at my hairdresser’s salon, who has now become one of my closest friends, is etched in stone for every Thursday at 10am. Come hell or high water, I am there at 9:50am sharp, eating either ackee and salt fish and dumplings or mackerel and dumplings, at the Jamaican restaurant adjacent to her salon, waiting patiently for her to arrive. She usually saunters in at around 10:15am, cursing me lovingly under her breath as she complains, “Sandy, why can’t you ever be late for a change?” I ignore her and eat continue to eat my food.

As a young girl growing up in Jamaica, Jaffreys was the relaxer of choice by everyone. This chemical relaxer, the mother of all relaxers, guaranteed to make you look like an Indian girl, instilled enormous pain, made tears run freely, and created scars and sores in your head every six to eight weeks. I, along with every other little Jamaican girl, endured pain and agony at the hand of our stylists. While Dottie, my mom’s stylist and now mine, creamed my hair from roots to end, I silently begged for death to either myself, Dottie or my mother. ‘Sandy, hold your darn head straight nuh gal pickney,” she would say. “Yu mada said that the last time your hair was not done properly and is blaming me. You know how she is.” “Well, maybe she should have married a coolie man and not my dry head father,” I wanted to say, but of course I held my tongue and cried silently instead.

To this day I attribute my obsession with weaves, the Remy kind of course, to the abuse I was put through as a child in my mother’s attempt to ensure that I was seen as a little coolie girl, versus just being straight black. Many women, we conclude, ignore their lovers in order to keep their hair intact, while others prioritize their looks over other important tasks. Whereas I might not forfeit the lovemaking, however, I must admit that in the past, Remy hair has won in the fight with my monthly car payment. “The leasing company was already rich,” I rationalized, and, “At least I could take the bus and still look fly!”

While there is no thought in my head at this moment about a prospective lover or husband, I am however consumed with the burning question, “I wonder if de Remy Goddess that I buy comes in a body wave style?” As I am going on a cruise in a few weeks, I must organize my hair in advance! There might be something to Chris Rock’s movie after all!