Screw me like Tiger, but pay me my 80 million dollars first!
To say that Tiger Wood’s indiscretions and extramarital affairs have been the most talked about story this week would be an understatement, as everyday more breaking news have surfaced. Men, women and children have been glued to the media outlets, watching as this squeaky clean sport celebrity’s private life is intruded upon daily, in full public view. It seems like Tiger was a freak behind closed doors!
As we learn about his numerous alleged affairs, all supposedly over the last few years, everyone has an opinion about his character and what his wife’s reaction should be. Women are up in arms about his doggish ways and some men, not surprisingly, are coming to his defense. Statistics report that over 75 percent of married men cheat, and most of them go for an extra affair within the first three years of their marriage.
Many married men, including some of my close friends, are asking, “So what is the big deal?” “Sandy, I could use a couple more pum pum’s right now miself. You just don’t understand how men think,” a very close, married friend of mine disclosed a couple days ago as we discussed the Wood’s situation. “Yu not a man, so you just don’t understand the sexual desires of men,” he tried to explain. Bewildered, yet curious to get to the bottom of this man woman business, I listened intently, while trying to interject a few points of my own. “Donovan, (obviously not his real name, but he would be very angry if I used his real name in this piece), I have the same sexual drive as you do Donovan,” I say to him. “I get turned on if I see a sexy man walking down the street with bow legs and 14 size shoes. Men just think with their little heads instead of their big heads,” I say to him. He chuckles and replies, “But yu different than most women Sandy. Most women don’t like to have sex that often.” “Yu don’t know my girlfriends,” I say to him. All Straight freaks, in my opinion!
Tiger , because of his “transgressions,” as he puts it, has now reportedly agreed to pay Elin Woods a whopping 5 million immediately ,plus an additional 75 million, up from the previously agreed upon 20 million in her pre-nuptial agreement ,if she agrees to stay with him over a certain period of time. Following on the heels of scandals surrounding other celebrities and sports superstars such as Kobe Bryant, David Letterman, Elliot Spitzer, and Michael Jordan just to name a few, Elin Woods has now officially joined the group being called, “Wives who are now stinking rich because of their husband’s inability to keep it in his pants,” group.
Where is my 80 million I ask? Should I then call up my ex-boyfriends and let them know that they actually owe me and my girlfriend’s money and that I would like it in cash immediately? How was it that I only walked away with tears and dirty boxers after a man who cheated on me left? Eighty million would certainly help me financially right now as I struggle to stay ahead of my bills in this tough economy.
So to all prospective boyfriends I say,” It is okay for you to cheat on me, as I,” as my friend Donovan insists, “don’t understand man business.” I will use your money wisely to ease the pain. New Manolo Blahnik shoes, Gucci handbags and a nice red Mercedes Convertible will certainly make me smile again. However, 30 year old muscular boy toy, with bow legs and size 14 shoes , and who is ready to please me in an instant ,will be my very first purchase, as I try to mend my poor broken heart.
So please, you can screw me like Tiger anytime baby! Just cut me the cheque first!
Sunday, December 20, 2009
No More Granny Panties Please
No More Granny Panties Please!
There is an old, unwritten rule which states, “A man wants a lady in the streets and a whore in the bedroom.” How is this accomplished by women wearing granny panties and tie heads to bed, especially during marriage? Effective as they may be to keep your weave intact and your rear warm, most men are turned off by this look.
Many women, not all of course, wear thongs, sexy lingerie, perfume and stilettos to get the man, but do nothing to keep him! These bad habits undeniably contribute to the infrequency of sex during marriage. Up to 48 percent of women, when polled ,admitted to faking an orgasm!
Some women also view sex as a “duty,” and refuse to make love to their mates unless forced to. Should wives not be vamping it up in the bedroom, swinging on the chandeliers or stripper poles, and whipping out the whipped cream, in order to keep their husbands satisfied? He has after all, “Put a ring on it,” like Beyonce sings, so give him the prize. Her H.O.V.A. or JZ, his surely getting his! He deserves it! Have you seen Beyonce’s rock?
Men, from all walks of life, complain daily about their “mistreatment” as they call it, at home. Loren, a very dear friend of mine, often complains to me about his wife’s lack of affection towards him, sexually and otherwise. I am held captive in his Nutrition store at least once a week, like a mouse caught in a trap. He really needs a physiatrist’s chair in his shop, as I am contemplating charging him for my opinions. “Sandy, yu know that the last time that we had sex was 3 months ago, and she will not approach me unless I insist on it?”, he says in his broken patois. Poor thing! I realize that he needs a shoulder to cry on and listen intently, while loudly drinking his blend of a protein shake, made with rich strawberries and almost ripe bananas.
Surprised, and at a loss for words I reply, “Loren, I am sure that if you talk to her she will come around,” I say to him. “Will I never learn?” I ask myself internally. I should know by now that I would not be able to leave on time once I have sat down. There goes my Desperate Housewives! Again! However, I am his friend so I ask, “Have you ever tried couples counseling or a couple’s retreat?” . I love gossip as much as the next woman, but picturing Loren banging his wife was indeed a turnoff, as I know them both very well.
His bald head, pale white skin and her slinky black legs and long weave, was too much for my poor little brain to handle. Many women however will defend Loren’s wife’s actions and admit to doing the same. “Who have time fe mek love? Me don’t even have time to even scratch me head!,” they say. Can we then only blame our men for cheating? Do we not play a role in it, sometimes?. Men are visual creatures; give them something at home to look at constantly.
I personally do not own a pair of granny panties myself ,as I enjoy seeing the toned rear that I have sculpted over the last few years. “Sandy, yu no fraid se u catch cold ina yu behind?” my friends ask. “No girl,” I often reply. “My rear is too tough for such a thing.”
Of course sex is not the most important part of a marriage, but it is still a very important part of a relationship. Ladies, you should also remember that whatever you will not do for your man, another woman will.
I guarantee you that Matey, as we lovingly call the girl on the side, has her thongs and stilettos! Outsmart her by wearing your thongs and stilettos to bed!
There is an old, unwritten rule which states, “A man wants a lady in the streets and a whore in the bedroom.” How is this accomplished by women wearing granny panties and tie heads to bed, especially during marriage? Effective as they may be to keep your weave intact and your rear warm, most men are turned off by this look.
Many women, not all of course, wear thongs, sexy lingerie, perfume and stilettos to get the man, but do nothing to keep him! These bad habits undeniably contribute to the infrequency of sex during marriage. Up to 48 percent of women, when polled ,admitted to faking an orgasm!
Some women also view sex as a “duty,” and refuse to make love to their mates unless forced to. Should wives not be vamping it up in the bedroom, swinging on the chandeliers or stripper poles, and whipping out the whipped cream, in order to keep their husbands satisfied? He has after all, “Put a ring on it,” like Beyonce sings, so give him the prize. Her H.O.V.A. or JZ, his surely getting his! He deserves it! Have you seen Beyonce’s rock?
Men, from all walks of life, complain daily about their “mistreatment” as they call it, at home. Loren, a very dear friend of mine, often complains to me about his wife’s lack of affection towards him, sexually and otherwise. I am held captive in his Nutrition store at least once a week, like a mouse caught in a trap. He really needs a physiatrist’s chair in his shop, as I am contemplating charging him for my opinions. “Sandy, yu know that the last time that we had sex was 3 months ago, and she will not approach me unless I insist on it?”, he says in his broken patois. Poor thing! I realize that he needs a shoulder to cry on and listen intently, while loudly drinking his blend of a protein shake, made with rich strawberries and almost ripe bananas.
Surprised, and at a loss for words I reply, “Loren, I am sure that if you talk to her she will come around,” I say to him. “Will I never learn?” I ask myself internally. I should know by now that I would not be able to leave on time once I have sat down. There goes my Desperate Housewives! Again! However, I am his friend so I ask, “Have you ever tried couples counseling or a couple’s retreat?” . I love gossip as much as the next woman, but picturing Loren banging his wife was indeed a turnoff, as I know them both very well.
His bald head, pale white skin and her slinky black legs and long weave, was too much for my poor little brain to handle. Many women however will defend Loren’s wife’s actions and admit to doing the same. “Who have time fe mek love? Me don’t even have time to even scratch me head!,” they say. Can we then only blame our men for cheating? Do we not play a role in it, sometimes?. Men are visual creatures; give them something at home to look at constantly.
I personally do not own a pair of granny panties myself ,as I enjoy seeing the toned rear that I have sculpted over the last few years. “Sandy, yu no fraid se u catch cold ina yu behind?” my friends ask. “No girl,” I often reply. “My rear is too tough for such a thing.”
Of course sex is not the most important part of a marriage, but it is still a very important part of a relationship. Ladies, you should also remember that whatever you will not do for your man, another woman will.
I guarantee you that Matey, as we lovingly call the girl on the side, has her thongs and stilettos! Outsmart her by wearing your thongs and stilettos to bed!
Monday, November 2, 2009
Good hair or Good Sex
Good Hair or Good Sex? Which would you choose?
To say that Chris Rock has stirred up deeply rooted emotions, warranted or unwarranted, amongst black women in his new film, “Good Hair,” would be an understatement. The movie, a satirical look at black women and their hair, has received critical acclaim from the critics, but sneers and snubs from the “Sistas” and is now a water cooler topic.” “Why examine ourselves and put our business out in the public?. Don’t we have enough troubles?,” they ask.
It is staggering the amount of money spent by black women on their hair, contrary to their white girlfriends. Collectively, we spend over 9 billion dollars for our hair to look white every year ,and individually over $800, and this is just on relaxers alone. To take it even one step further, many women, have happily forfeited a prospective love making session, terrified that their hair might get ruined! Some even charge the men if their hair gets messed up!
My appointment at my hairdresser’s salon, who has now become one of my closest friends, is etched in stone for every Thursday at 10am. Come hell or high water, I am there at 9:50am sharp, eating either ackee and salt fish and dumplings or mackerel and dumplings, at the Jamaican restaurant adjacent to her salon, waiting patiently for her to arrive. She usually saunters in at around 10:15am, cursing me lovingly under her breath as she complains, “Sandy, why can’t you ever be late for a change?” I ignore her and eat continue to eat my food.
As a young girl growing up in Jamaica, Jaffreys was the relaxer of choice by everyone. This chemical relaxer, the mother of all relaxers, guaranteed to make you look like an Indian girl, instilled enormous pain, made tears run freely, and created scars and sores in your head every six to eight weeks. I, along with every other little Jamaican girl, endured pain and agony at the hand of our stylists. While Dottie, my mom’s stylist and now mine, creamed my hair from roots to end, I silently begged for death to either myself, Dottie or my mother. ‘Sandy, hold your darn head straight nuh gal pickney,” she would say. “Yu mada said that the last time your hair was not done properly and is blaming me. You know how she is.” “Well, maybe she should have married a coolie man and not my dry head father,” I wanted to say, but of course I held my tongue and cried silently instead.
To this day I attribute my obsession with weaves, the Remy kind of course, to the abuse I was put through as a child in my mother’s attempt to ensure that I was seen as a little coolie girl, versus just being straight black. Many women, we conclude, ignore their lovers in order to keep their hair intact, while others prioritize their looks over other important tasks. Whereas I might not forfeit the lovemaking, however, I must admit that in the past, Remy hair has won in the fight with my monthly car payment. “The leasing company was already rich,” I rationalized, and, “At least I could take the bus and still look fly!”
While there is no thought in my head at this moment about a prospective lover or husband, I am however consumed with the burning question, “I wonder if de Remy Goddess that I buy comes in a body wave style?” As I am going on a cruise in a few weeks, I must organize my hair in advance! There might be something to Chris Rock’s movie after all!
To say that Chris Rock has stirred up deeply rooted emotions, warranted or unwarranted, amongst black women in his new film, “Good Hair,” would be an understatement. The movie, a satirical look at black women and their hair, has received critical acclaim from the critics, but sneers and snubs from the “Sistas” and is now a water cooler topic.” “Why examine ourselves and put our business out in the public?. Don’t we have enough troubles?,” they ask.
It is staggering the amount of money spent by black women on their hair, contrary to their white girlfriends. Collectively, we spend over 9 billion dollars for our hair to look white every year ,and individually over $800, and this is just on relaxers alone. To take it even one step further, many women, have happily forfeited a prospective love making session, terrified that their hair might get ruined! Some even charge the men if their hair gets messed up!
My appointment at my hairdresser’s salon, who has now become one of my closest friends, is etched in stone for every Thursday at 10am. Come hell or high water, I am there at 9:50am sharp, eating either ackee and salt fish and dumplings or mackerel and dumplings, at the Jamaican restaurant adjacent to her salon, waiting patiently for her to arrive. She usually saunters in at around 10:15am, cursing me lovingly under her breath as she complains, “Sandy, why can’t you ever be late for a change?” I ignore her and eat continue to eat my food.
As a young girl growing up in Jamaica, Jaffreys was the relaxer of choice by everyone. This chemical relaxer, the mother of all relaxers, guaranteed to make you look like an Indian girl, instilled enormous pain, made tears run freely, and created scars and sores in your head every six to eight weeks. I, along with every other little Jamaican girl, endured pain and agony at the hand of our stylists. While Dottie, my mom’s stylist and now mine, creamed my hair from roots to end, I silently begged for death to either myself, Dottie or my mother. ‘Sandy, hold your darn head straight nuh gal pickney,” she would say. “Yu mada said that the last time your hair was not done properly and is blaming me. You know how she is.” “Well, maybe she should have married a coolie man and not my dry head father,” I wanted to say, but of course I held my tongue and cried silently instead.
To this day I attribute my obsession with weaves, the Remy kind of course, to the abuse I was put through as a child in my mother’s attempt to ensure that I was seen as a little coolie girl, versus just being straight black. Many women, we conclude, ignore their lovers in order to keep their hair intact, while others prioritize their looks over other important tasks. Whereas I might not forfeit the lovemaking, however, I must admit that in the past, Remy hair has won in the fight with my monthly car payment. “The leasing company was already rich,” I rationalized, and, “At least I could take the bus and still look fly!”
While there is no thought in my head at this moment about a prospective lover or husband, I am however consumed with the burning question, “I wonder if de Remy Goddess that I buy comes in a body wave style?” As I am going on a cruise in a few weeks, I must organize my hair in advance! There might be something to Chris Rock’s movie after all!
Monday, October 12, 2009
Yogasm instead of an Orgasm:Replacing love with a yoga mat!
According to the Statistics, sixty percent of black women have either never married or are divorced. Yikes! What should I and my single girlfriends attribute our dire situation to? Lack of good men? No, there are good men still out there it is believed. No time? No, we find the time to do whatever is necessary, even with our hectic schedules. A low sex drive? No, most women, including myself, are vibrant human beings with the stamina of a 25 year old young woman. So then, what was the real reason? Why are women not taking the bull by the horn and dating more to find that special person? Why is it that my yoga mat has seemingly replaced a desire for Mr. Right my life?
Like some women, I can be seen running on the streets frantically, or burning rubber on Highway 401, (cursing everyone in my way of course, even someone in a wheelchair that I almost ran over), as I rushed to catch my yoga class.To be fair to myself in that situation, I must say that the lady in the wheelchair came out of nowhere on the King Street. It was like she was driving a sports car or something! Ninety minutes of hot yoga torture, almost the exact amount of time for lovemaking, (foreplay not included of course). Of course the benefits are amazing to the overall look of the body, but what are tight, leaned, toned arms and a rounded rear- end if no one is there to appreciate your hard work? The ability to place one’s legs over one’s head does not come in handy in the office and surely goes wasted.
Of course I have become the butt of all my girlfriends’ jokes. “Sandy, u a go to your yoga again?” Yu no fraid seh u brok yu darn neck gal?” they ask Needless to say, their point hits home but an admission of guilt from me is never going to be done.“You guys are just jealous. You wish that you had my skills,” I often reply. Being able to perform the, “downward dog,” a popular yoga move which instructs you to put both hands and feet on the floor while pushing back with your legs and derriere in the air, easily achieved by me, surely cannot possible be accomplished by them I rationalize to myself.
It appears that a lot of successful women, do not make their relationships a priority: no time for love. Unless we change our daily routines and make time for love, our love lives will forever remain unfulfilled. You will forever be in your living rooms, alone, wondering why your girlfriends, some with bad credit, bad hair and wrinkled bodies , have husbands and you do not. Why you are not the one fighting with your man for the remote control or scolding him about leaving the toilet seat up. Again! How many times do you have to fall into the toilet, filled with water, before he listens? Aww,The joys of married life!
Hot yoga, fulfilling as it is for the 90 minutes, cannot replace the love of a good man. I, like all other over- achievers, must tackle the problem head on and stop the escapism: be it hot yoga, like mine. Escapism rears it’s ugly head in many forms and often consumes your thoughts and every action. Figure out what is yours and what you are running from . Hopefully soon I will be able to say, Namasta! (Yoga terminology which means I give you my light), to my lover instead of to a sweaty yoga mat, a really tanned instructor and strangers in tiny bikinis, and even tinier see-through Speedos.
Like some women, I can be seen running on the streets frantically, or burning rubber on Highway 401, (cursing everyone in my way of course, even someone in a wheelchair that I almost ran over), as I rushed to catch my yoga class.To be fair to myself in that situation, I must say that the lady in the wheelchair came out of nowhere on the King Street. It was like she was driving a sports car or something! Ninety minutes of hot yoga torture, almost the exact amount of time for lovemaking, (foreplay not included of course). Of course the benefits are amazing to the overall look of the body, but what are tight, leaned, toned arms and a rounded rear- end if no one is there to appreciate your hard work? The ability to place one’s legs over one’s head does not come in handy in the office and surely goes wasted.
Of course I have become the butt of all my girlfriends’ jokes. “Sandy, u a go to your yoga again?” Yu no fraid seh u brok yu darn neck gal?” they ask Needless to say, their point hits home but an admission of guilt from me is never going to be done.“You guys are just jealous. You wish that you had my skills,” I often reply. Being able to perform the, “downward dog,” a popular yoga move which instructs you to put both hands and feet on the floor while pushing back with your legs and derriere in the air, easily achieved by me, surely cannot possible be accomplished by them I rationalize to myself.
It appears that a lot of successful women, do not make their relationships a priority: no time for love. Unless we change our daily routines and make time for love, our love lives will forever remain unfulfilled. You will forever be in your living rooms, alone, wondering why your girlfriends, some with bad credit, bad hair and wrinkled bodies , have husbands and you do not. Why you are not the one fighting with your man for the remote control or scolding him about leaving the toilet seat up. Again! How many times do you have to fall into the toilet, filled with water, before he listens? Aww,The joys of married life!
Hot yoga, fulfilling as it is for the 90 minutes, cannot replace the love of a good man. I, like all other over- achievers, must tackle the problem head on and stop the escapism: be it hot yoga, like mine. Escapism rears it’s ugly head in many forms and often consumes your thoughts and every action. Figure out what is yours and what you are running from . Hopefully soon I will be able to say, Namasta! (Yoga terminology which means I give you my light), to my lover instead of to a sweaty yoga mat, a really tanned instructor and strangers in tiny bikinis, and even tinier see-through Speedos.
Thursday, October 1, 2009
Play De Fool to Ketch Wise
Playing Dumb to Keep Your Man!
They say that a smart woman rules the home but makes her man believe that he is the King of his castle. A woman’s job, people say, is to be smart enough to know when to take a backseat, while allowed the while being the driver of the car. She must allow her partner to make his mistakes, and when he is ready and willing, he will do as she desires. Her role, they say, is to make her man feel wanted, loved, admired and respected, all without emasculating him in the process. How tiring! Who really has the time for all that work, plus all the other things that one has to take care of? Certainly not me! Then again, maybe that is why I single with no one by my side.
Women are expected to care for the kids, maintain a clean home, bring home the bacon, and at the same time look like Halle Berry and Beyonce combined. The last time I checked, Wonder Woman was the last Superwoman, and she was a fictional character, cultivated from someone’s imaginary mind. The funny thing though is that many women, including myself, try to live up to these unreasonable expectations. I cannot tell you the amount of times that I jumped out of bed at 7 am to prepare my ex-husband’s ham sandwich for lunch for the day, or pack him a lunch container from the previous night’s dinner. This, of course, was after making passionate love to him in the morning before his day began. Gosh, he was a lucky man! Why did we break up again? Oh I remember now, he cheated on me with the pretty little Pilipino girl at work, while getting all the loving at home as well. How could I have ever forgotten? I am not saying that all men cheat, because trust me, I really do not believe that, but he did, so I left!
I, of course would also get the kids ready for school, work full-time, visit the gym regularly and still take care of the home. This cycle continued on for years in my household. I am positive I am not the only woman who has done this type of crazy, I am Superwoman, hear me roar, utter madness. To make matters worse, I was not allowed to take full credit for all my work, and to this day my ex still maintains the position that he held our family together for years. What a bunch of crock! I am so happy that I do not have to feed his ego anymore. ‘Let little Miss Pilipino take over the work of cooking, cleaning, feeding his ego,” I said to myself. “It was time for me to bust loose from my chains,” I thought
My nickname for him was, and still is, “Captain of the Ship, master of nothing.” I remember him very vividly saying to me on many occasions, “Sandy, yu no think yu should tell Shane and Warren, (our two boys), to use a coaster on the centre table?” he would ask. Why could he not tell them I thought to myself back then? Was I the only parent in the house? He was truly not a bad person and we are very to this day, much to the chagrin of his current wife. The lady has self esteem issues, what else can I say? In my mind, his current wife is now his court jester. The baton has been passed to her and passed willingly by me!
The thought of me continuously feeding my ex-husband’s ego on a daily basis really got to me and so I felt compelled to leave. Coupled with the fact that he of course stepped out of our relationship. Am I the only one who sees the injustice and unfairness in this? Why do women have to in turn play the fool to keep their man happy and his ego intact? Maybe this is why I am unmarried and still very single!
Maybe one of these days I will learn to play de fool in order to keep my man! Not yet! I am not ready for that as yet!
They say that a smart woman rules the home but makes her man believe that he is the King of his castle. A woman’s job, people say, is to be smart enough to know when to take a backseat, while allowed the while being the driver of the car. She must allow her partner to make his mistakes, and when he is ready and willing, he will do as she desires. Her role, they say, is to make her man feel wanted, loved, admired and respected, all without emasculating him in the process. How tiring! Who really has the time for all that work, plus all the other things that one has to take care of? Certainly not me! Then again, maybe that is why I single with no one by my side.
Women are expected to care for the kids, maintain a clean home, bring home the bacon, and at the same time look like Halle Berry and Beyonce combined. The last time I checked, Wonder Woman was the last Superwoman, and she was a fictional character, cultivated from someone’s imaginary mind. The funny thing though is that many women, including myself, try to live up to these unreasonable expectations. I cannot tell you the amount of times that I jumped out of bed at 7 am to prepare my ex-husband’s ham sandwich for lunch for the day, or pack him a lunch container from the previous night’s dinner. This, of course, was after making passionate love to him in the morning before his day began. Gosh, he was a lucky man! Why did we break up again? Oh I remember now, he cheated on me with the pretty little Pilipino girl at work, while getting all the loving at home as well. How could I have ever forgotten? I am not saying that all men cheat, because trust me, I really do not believe that, but he did, so I left!
I, of course would also get the kids ready for school, work full-time, visit the gym regularly and still take care of the home. This cycle continued on for years in my household. I am positive I am not the only woman who has done this type of crazy, I am Superwoman, hear me roar, utter madness. To make matters worse, I was not allowed to take full credit for all my work, and to this day my ex still maintains the position that he held our family together for years. What a bunch of crock! I am so happy that I do not have to feed his ego anymore. ‘Let little Miss Pilipino take over the work of cooking, cleaning, feeding his ego,” I said to myself. “It was time for me to bust loose from my chains,” I thought
My nickname for him was, and still is, “Captain of the Ship, master of nothing.” I remember him very vividly saying to me on many occasions, “Sandy, yu no think yu should tell Shane and Warren, (our two boys), to use a coaster on the centre table?” he would ask. Why could he not tell them I thought to myself back then? Was I the only parent in the house? He was truly not a bad person and we are very to this day, much to the chagrin of his current wife. The lady has self esteem issues, what else can I say? In my mind, his current wife is now his court jester. The baton has been passed to her and passed willingly by me!
The thought of me continuously feeding my ex-husband’s ego on a daily basis really got to me and so I felt compelled to leave. Coupled with the fact that he of course stepped out of our relationship. Am I the only one who sees the injustice and unfairness in this? Why do women have to in turn play the fool to keep their man happy and his ego intact? Maybe this is why I am unmarried and still very single!
Maybe one of these days I will learn to play de fool in order to keep my man! Not yet! I am not ready for that as yet!
Monday, August 31, 2009
Women:Date, Date and then Date Some More!
WOMEN: DATE, DATE AND THEN DATE SOME MORE
But Save the Cherry Pie for Mr. Right!
It is often been said that women, “Men date and women have relationships.” Often times when a woman finds herself in an intimate relationship with a man she immediately considers that to be a new relationship. Not so fast for the fellas however! Have you ever seen an episode of the Maury Povich show as he proudly and shamefully declares, “You are not the father?” To which the young lady usually runs off the stage, hits the dust and wails like a wounded animal in the woods.
Do these ladies not understand that Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus,” as author John Gray wrote in his widely popular book? A man will date you, your friend and your mother before he decides in his mind that you are, “the one.” Women, however fall head over heels in love, pregnant in their minds with your baby, and building the big house with the white picket fence the second that they get a taste of, “de big wad between a man’s legs.”
Women need to open up their horizons, wade through their choices and then with a clear mind, decide who their partner should be. Easily said than done of course as the second a woman is observed as dating a, “a few good men,” she is labeled as a slut or a whore. No one to take home to your mama!
Dating more than one man at a time allows you to choose from the crop, and choose the one best suited for you. As my mother always says,” Give a man a man a likkle piece of rope to play with, tie de noose tight but don’t choke him. If he sinks to the bottom he is probably not good for you. If however, he rises to the top above de rest, like a pudding ina de oven, he is yours to keep! My mother bwoy! The things I heard while growing up!
A man that knows that you are seeing another man should be envious of the time spent with others. As your objective here is to be, “the one and only,” and really find your true love, you should not settle for anything less. Too often women will fall for the old, “I am just seeing where this is going,” statement from a man. No! He should know what his true intentions are from the beginning, as you are of yours. Wasting your time and his is not allowed.
However ladies, really do go out with others if you say that you are. Leave the girlfriends alone for a few nights and truly go out with, “the hot guy from down the street.” Who knows where it might lead? If your knight in shining amour sees you with the buffed bodied man from the gym, and his feelings are true, he will know what to do.
He will rise to cream of the crop and make you his. Women should also learn to have fun while dating, just as much as the guys do. However, the ultimate prize, the big cherry on top, the big kahuna, should be kept for the one who rises to the top, or at least the ones who almost made the pudding pie shape.
Women should view their bodies as temples of God, something to be cherished, a prized possession for very few to see and behold. Trust me, when him get a “likkle piece,” as they say, your prince will be more than appreciative of the sweet, rarely abused gift you have given to him!
But Save the Cherry Pie for Mr. Right!
It is often been said that women, “Men date and women have relationships.” Often times when a woman finds herself in an intimate relationship with a man she immediately considers that to be a new relationship. Not so fast for the fellas however! Have you ever seen an episode of the Maury Povich show as he proudly and shamefully declares, “You are not the father?” To which the young lady usually runs off the stage, hits the dust and wails like a wounded animal in the woods.
Do these ladies not understand that Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus,” as author John Gray wrote in his widely popular book? A man will date you, your friend and your mother before he decides in his mind that you are, “the one.” Women, however fall head over heels in love, pregnant in their minds with your baby, and building the big house with the white picket fence the second that they get a taste of, “de big wad between a man’s legs.”
Women need to open up their horizons, wade through their choices and then with a clear mind, decide who their partner should be. Easily said than done of course as the second a woman is observed as dating a, “a few good men,” she is labeled as a slut or a whore. No one to take home to your mama!
Dating more than one man at a time allows you to choose from the crop, and choose the one best suited for you. As my mother always says,” Give a man a man a likkle piece of rope to play with, tie de noose tight but don’t choke him. If he sinks to the bottom he is probably not good for you. If however, he rises to the top above de rest, like a pudding ina de oven, he is yours to keep! My mother bwoy! The things I heard while growing up!
A man that knows that you are seeing another man should be envious of the time spent with others. As your objective here is to be, “the one and only,” and really find your true love, you should not settle for anything less. Too often women will fall for the old, “I am just seeing where this is going,” statement from a man. No! He should know what his true intentions are from the beginning, as you are of yours. Wasting your time and his is not allowed.
However ladies, really do go out with others if you say that you are. Leave the girlfriends alone for a few nights and truly go out with, “the hot guy from down the street.” Who knows where it might lead? If your knight in shining amour sees you with the buffed bodied man from the gym, and his feelings are true, he will know what to do.
He will rise to cream of the crop and make you his. Women should also learn to have fun while dating, just as much as the guys do. However, the ultimate prize, the big cherry on top, the big kahuna, should be kept for the one who rises to the top, or at least the ones who almost made the pudding pie shape.
Women should view their bodies as temples of God, something to be cherished, a prized possession for very few to see and behold. Trust me, when him get a “likkle piece,” as they say, your prince will be more than appreciative of the sweet, rarely abused gift you have given to him!
Friday, August 7, 2009
Whose Pussy is it Baby?
Whose Pussy is it Baby?
by
Sandy Daley
If I had a twenty dollar bill for the amount of times that a man has said that to me, I would have at least been able to buy a car with that cash! “Is he really serious?”, I ask myself while moaning sweet nothings in his ears. “Yours, baby, yours.” “Why burst his bubble while he is in a grove?” Good, satisfying sex is a rarity these days. Why lose out if you are getting it, once in a while? I am a woman and can do multiple things at once. “The audacity, the gall of him,” I say to myself while I twist, turn and groan and try to position myself for maximum benefits. Needless to say, I am internally pissed at the question but no need to ruin a great love making session. Most of the times I practice abstinence, so when I get it, I take it. If re-virgination,(not sure if that is the proper terminology but you understand what I am trying to say), was a possibility, I would be the first to be able to be able to say that I am revirginized.
Even as recent as last week I had a former lover call me, out of the blue,posing these questions to me. This man, even though we have not spoken for the last three weeks, took it upon himself to ring my phone at 11pm , “Because he missed me.” After my first initial reaction of rage as to him calling, “me so late in the night and there was no ambulance or police needed,” I decided to listen to the bullshit that he wanted to spew out of his mouth. I am assuming that by me not calling, emailing or trying to stay in contact with him over the last few weeks, I am now attractive to him once again.
My girlfriends have always told me that the more you ignore a man and treat him like dirt, the more he wants you. “Men don’t want a girl who wants them too much,” one of my friends says. Treat a man like crap and you will see how fast he will be running you down. "Dem like the chase,” she says. I am beginning to think that there is something to this, as not only are most of my friends saying this , but I am sure that I read it somewhere in one, if not all, the self-help books that I own.
To both his queries of, “Have you been a good girl,” and,”Who’s pussy is it Sandy,” I answered very sheepishly, “As good as you have been daddy,” and ‘Anyone that I chose to give it to”. I don’t think that was the answer that he was looking for as his voice kind of changed after that answer.“The nerve of him!” I thought to myself, while internally fuming. “How dare he believe that he could just disappear out of my life, reappear when he wanted to, and then try to lay claim on something that he gave up?.”
I needed to understand why this man, and many others that I know of, felt the need to act this way. In my attempt to obtain an answer to my question, I reached out to all my male friends and asked the following questions. “What makes a man believe that he can stake claim to women, even if he is not interested in you to have a relationship? “Why do they always believe it is their pussy? After their first initial reaction of surprise at the bluntness of my questions, the answers began to flow. I did notice however that their answers came with a slight bit of hesitation. The hesitation was either because of their reservation to explain this all to a “woman” or men trying to protect other men. The unwritten code of “U never talk on other men or buss a man’s game, began to rear its ugly head.” Men, as we all know, protect other men.
A few tried to use the Bible to rationalize and explain the reasons why. I ignored this explanation as I thought that it would be best to leave God out of this one. No need to call down blasphemy on them and on myself as well. Pussy and the Lord just don't mix in my book!
The others blamed the women, as they felt that it was probably something that she was doing wrong to not,”Hold her man down,” as they put it. Oh brother! Let’s just say that the men who gave me that answer have been dropped on the totem pole in my “friend” category. Not because of any hurt feelings towards my gender, but the fact that I thought that that was one of the most asinine answers I have ever heard in my life. Are you kidding me? As I always tell my male friends, “whatever is good for the goose, is good for the gander as well.“ They often disagree of course.
The last bunch explained by saying that it is a form of control, and that men just wanted to make sure that he was still the master of his domain and a woman is a part of his domain. They also went on to say that the man merely wanted to see if he still “Had you in his grip and that you were still into him.” Hurtful as it may be to hear, after much thought, I agreed with this last explanation from my guy friends. I mean, they should know right? Or do they? I am not one to say what all men know because it seems to me like they are always trying to figure out us girls.
I might not have all the answers to life’s questions but I know that when one claims something, there are responsibilities that are attached to the prize as well. Test him and see if he is worth holding on to.
Ladies, the next time a man chooses to ask you the question,"whose pussy is it," in or out of bed, look him directly in the eye and reply ,“Baby, whosoever claims it at the moment .”Seeing that you are claiming it now, de rent, light bill and car note is due. Do you have the money now or later?” See his face drop to the floor. He might think twice about asking you such a foolish question, unless he is ready for the answer and all the responsibilities. This test never fails.
In regards to the man who had asked me those questions, I know that he does not have, as my mother would say, “Dry poop in his behind to make bread.” Not even worth my time to waste my saliva and answer his questions. I kept on enjoying the lovely phone sex and moaned into the mouthpiece, “Yours baby, yours of course”, as I continued to play with him, as he was obviously doing with me. If it is good for the goose then certainly it is good for the gander as well. Plus,why ruin a good phone sex session? Do you know how rare those are these days? The recession has killed everything bwoy!
by
Sandy Daley
If I had a twenty dollar bill for the amount of times that a man has said that to me, I would have at least been able to buy a car with that cash! “Is he really serious?”, I ask myself while moaning sweet nothings in his ears. “Yours, baby, yours.” “Why burst his bubble while he is in a grove?” Good, satisfying sex is a rarity these days. Why lose out if you are getting it, once in a while? I am a woman and can do multiple things at once. “The audacity, the gall of him,” I say to myself while I twist, turn and groan and try to position myself for maximum benefits. Needless to say, I am internally pissed at the question but no need to ruin a great love making session. Most of the times I practice abstinence, so when I get it, I take it. If re-virgination,(not sure if that is the proper terminology but you understand what I am trying to say), was a possibility, I would be the first to be able to be able to say that I am revirginized.
Even as recent as last week I had a former lover call me, out of the blue,posing these questions to me. This man, even though we have not spoken for the last three weeks, took it upon himself to ring my phone at 11pm , “Because he missed me.” After my first initial reaction of rage as to him calling, “me so late in the night and there was no ambulance or police needed,” I decided to listen to the bullshit that he wanted to spew out of his mouth. I am assuming that by me not calling, emailing or trying to stay in contact with him over the last few weeks, I am now attractive to him once again.
My girlfriends have always told me that the more you ignore a man and treat him like dirt, the more he wants you. “Men don’t want a girl who wants them too much,” one of my friends says. Treat a man like crap and you will see how fast he will be running you down. "Dem like the chase,” she says. I am beginning to think that there is something to this, as not only are most of my friends saying this , but I am sure that I read it somewhere in one, if not all, the self-help books that I own.
To both his queries of, “Have you been a good girl,” and,”Who’s pussy is it Sandy,” I answered very sheepishly, “As good as you have been daddy,” and ‘Anyone that I chose to give it to”. I don’t think that was the answer that he was looking for as his voice kind of changed after that answer.“The nerve of him!” I thought to myself, while internally fuming. “How dare he believe that he could just disappear out of my life, reappear when he wanted to, and then try to lay claim on something that he gave up?.”
I needed to understand why this man, and many others that I know of, felt the need to act this way. In my attempt to obtain an answer to my question, I reached out to all my male friends and asked the following questions. “What makes a man believe that he can stake claim to women, even if he is not interested in you to have a relationship? “Why do they always believe it is their pussy? After their first initial reaction of surprise at the bluntness of my questions, the answers began to flow. I did notice however that their answers came with a slight bit of hesitation. The hesitation was either because of their reservation to explain this all to a “woman” or men trying to protect other men. The unwritten code of “U never talk on other men or buss a man’s game, began to rear its ugly head.” Men, as we all know, protect other men.
A few tried to use the Bible to rationalize and explain the reasons why. I ignored this explanation as I thought that it would be best to leave God out of this one. No need to call down blasphemy on them and on myself as well. Pussy and the Lord just don't mix in my book!
The others blamed the women, as they felt that it was probably something that she was doing wrong to not,”Hold her man down,” as they put it. Oh brother! Let’s just say that the men who gave me that answer have been dropped on the totem pole in my “friend” category. Not because of any hurt feelings towards my gender, but the fact that I thought that that was one of the most asinine answers I have ever heard in my life. Are you kidding me? As I always tell my male friends, “whatever is good for the goose, is good for the gander as well.“ They often disagree of course.
The last bunch explained by saying that it is a form of control, and that men just wanted to make sure that he was still the master of his domain and a woman is a part of his domain. They also went on to say that the man merely wanted to see if he still “Had you in his grip and that you were still into him.” Hurtful as it may be to hear, after much thought, I agreed with this last explanation from my guy friends. I mean, they should know right? Or do they? I am not one to say what all men know because it seems to me like they are always trying to figure out us girls.
I might not have all the answers to life’s questions but I know that when one claims something, there are responsibilities that are attached to the prize as well. Test him and see if he is worth holding on to.
Ladies, the next time a man chooses to ask you the question,"whose pussy is it," in or out of bed, look him directly in the eye and reply ,“Baby, whosoever claims it at the moment .”Seeing that you are claiming it now, de rent, light bill and car note is due. Do you have the money now or later?” See his face drop to the floor. He might think twice about asking you such a foolish question, unless he is ready for the answer and all the responsibilities. This test never fails.
In regards to the man who had asked me those questions, I know that he does not have, as my mother would say, “Dry poop in his behind to make bread.” Not even worth my time to waste my saliva and answer his questions. I kept on enjoying the lovely phone sex and moaned into the mouthpiece, “Yours baby, yours of course”, as I continued to play with him, as he was obviously doing with me. If it is good for the goose then certainly it is good for the gander as well. Plus,why ruin a good phone sex session? Do you know how rare those are these days? The recession has killed everything bwoy!
Thursday, July 23, 2009
Jamaican Man- Back ina Style fe 2009!
Jamaican Man back Ina Style fe 2009! Even though they hesitate to taste your estacy!
By
Sandy Daley
U know se tings really gaan bad when me have to say that Jamaican man come back ina style fe 2009! We all know the track record with our Jamaican men so let us not pretend as if you do not understand what I mean! Over the last few years, primarily because of a failed common law marriage and some painful experiences with Jamaican men, I have honestly only dated the American brothers. I thought to myself, “Alright, let me try the other side and see what they have to offer.” But bwoy, just from my observations, and my girlfriend’s experiences with the Yankee men, “gimme the Jamaican man any day,” is what I am saying to myself nowadays.
From the lawyer in Atlanta, to the Manufacturing Manager in Ohio, to the big shot IBM Software man in North Carolina, I have discovered, grudgingly so, that I prefer my Island brothers. Yes, you too Mr. Trinidad. Everybody know se yu like Jamaican women under the quiet!
Don’t get me wrong, it is not my belief that they were not all bad; maybe my timing was not in sync with theirs or something. I have also come to realize that the values that I grew up with in Jamaica, where having a woman is seen as an honor, most American men have not grasped that concept. Some do I am sure, but I believe that it is instilled in a Caribbean man from his days as a youth, running around in the country, barefoot. Caribbean men seemingly know that if he has a woman, it is his responsibility to try to take care of her. Our Yankee brothers need to be taught, just like the Caribbean man.
Now, if this was happening to me alone, then I would walk away and say that this was my entire fault, and I must obviously be doing something wrong. It unfortunately is not, and women are experiencing major letdowns all over the globe.
I have one friend in particular, who every other weekend she picks herself up, rents a car and drives across the border to visit her so-called “man”. I won’t say which friend of course, she might read this. Actually, no, she won’t read this, she is probably busy on the phone as we speak, cursing him out, asking him why he has not sent her any money. Again! So, therefore I can continue on with my story.
Don’t get me wrong, I am all for love and the pursuit of happiness, but paying for a rental car every weekend out of my own pocket, losing time and money from my job and driving in the snow, rain or shine, is not a smart move in my opinion. Especially in the snow! Look how cold Canada can get! As I told her one day,” If he was your man, you would not be borrowing money from me, a single mother of two boys. To top it off, she is always asking me to put money on your pre-paid cell phone for her. And that’s another thing, “why can’t this American brother get her a plan on her phone and have her ditch her pre-paid? If I had a penny for every time that she said to me,” “Girl, I can’t talk too long cause you are burning up my minutes.” I would be a very rich woman. Oh brother! I just chuckle and roll my eyes every time that she says this.
“My relationship is very important to me,” she says. “What relationship?” I ask her. “I have more of a relationship with myself and I am a single gal,” I think to myself. Those words bubble up on my tongue to say, but I, of course, say nothing. Besides the fact that she might call me mean-spirited, which she has done in the past on many occasions, she is personal trainer, and a good one at that. Free personal training three times a week, and the sculpted tush that I have now, thanks to her, makes me keep quiet. “No need to ruin the round rump” I rationalize to myself, because of her dumbness. “Summer is here and my rear is looking more and more like Jennifer Lopez’s or Kim Kardashian’s butt every day. So of course, I say nothing.
In my opinion there is no penis that gratifying for me to drive hundreds of miles for, in the snow or hail. I suggested that she try to receive her, “sexual satisfaction,” for a lack of a better description for it, via the telephone. Everyone in a long distance relationship understands what I mean. This of course does not go over very well with her to say the least. “For goodness sake, I say to her. This is 2009, get with the program and get a web-cam if you must!” She however, does not listen to my advice. To this day she can be seen burning rubber on the 401 on a Friday afternoon to ensure that she gets to the border in time because, “Him might want to borrow de car.” Most times with no bars left on her pre-paid cell or money in her pocket. Is this girl really a Jamaican woman I ask myself?’ He must be laying de pipes down good on her because I do not understand her logic. I think she has been in dis country too long and she needs a refresher course on being a woman, an island woman.
If this was a Jamaican or Caribbean brother, he would not have her doing these foolish acts. He would probably say something to the tune of, “Baby, it alright. How much money fe de phone and no botha come this week. Mek me we send the money next week and send a ticket for you.” I laugh every time that I go to a Western Union store and listen to the conversations as the Caribbean men send money to their women. You can literally see the pain on the guys faces as their women on the line tell them, very harshly I might add, that ,”what he is sending is not enough and she needs to find another man.” You should see dem scramble in their pockets to find more. It is hilarious to watch!
I myself have gotten tons of offers from men, for gifts and tickets: men with whom I have never had any intimate relationships with. I just received and offer two days ago from a hardworking blue collar man from New York. I, of course turned it down, but I appreciate the fact that he approached me the proper way. This Jamaican brother knows that my time is valuable and respects it, even if he is not rich.
If a Jamaican brother has ten women whom he has claimed in his head, his little black behind will work has hard as he can to keep them all. They might not get everything equally divided amongst them, but he tries his best. One girl might get a car, one her school paid for, one her dresses bought and one would get the vacation package. An American will expect to receive everything from women, and often he is not doing the proper things as a man, for any of his women.
I will be kind to the Yankee man and congratulate him for always being open to giving his women that."extra special attention down south,"if you know what I mean. Even though most or all Caribbean men oblige their ladies as well in the dark, we all know that them admitting this to their friends would be tragic. "Me don't do dem something de," a Jamaican man will say to his brethen. This is what he says to his friends but to his woman his words will be,"Baby no badda tell u frien dem bout dis alright?" We will keep it quiet for you Caribbean fellas.Your secret is safe with us.
I hold my sisters accountable to some degree for these irresponsible acts that we are experiencing. We allow these men to get away with murder and not feel responsible for us, or their actions. We continue to enable and be intimate with them. Women need to set their standards higher and expect nothing but the best from our guys. Then and only then will we receive the rewards.
Do not get me wrong, I am not saying that a man having ten women out there is right. However, I would rather have my man trying hard to please me than not trying at all. At least I know that there is a chance for it to work.
A Jamaican man knows that he has to approach a woman with more than just the pleasure of experiencing the, “Big wad, “between his legs. At least him wi try a likkle ting wid u! It might be with ten others at the same time, but he makes all of them feel loved and cared for. None will be left out. I think I might accept the Education package from now on and run wid it.I have always wanted to go for my Masters!
By
Sandy Daley
U know se tings really gaan bad when me have to say that Jamaican man come back ina style fe 2009! We all know the track record with our Jamaican men so let us not pretend as if you do not understand what I mean! Over the last few years, primarily because of a failed common law marriage and some painful experiences with Jamaican men, I have honestly only dated the American brothers. I thought to myself, “Alright, let me try the other side and see what they have to offer.” But bwoy, just from my observations, and my girlfriend’s experiences with the Yankee men, “gimme the Jamaican man any day,” is what I am saying to myself nowadays.
From the lawyer in Atlanta, to the Manufacturing Manager in Ohio, to the big shot IBM Software man in North Carolina, I have discovered, grudgingly so, that I prefer my Island brothers. Yes, you too Mr. Trinidad. Everybody know se yu like Jamaican women under the quiet!
Don’t get me wrong, it is not my belief that they were not all bad; maybe my timing was not in sync with theirs or something. I have also come to realize that the values that I grew up with in Jamaica, where having a woman is seen as an honor, most American men have not grasped that concept. Some do I am sure, but I believe that it is instilled in a Caribbean man from his days as a youth, running around in the country, barefoot. Caribbean men seemingly know that if he has a woman, it is his responsibility to try to take care of her. Our Yankee brothers need to be taught, just like the Caribbean man.
Now, if this was happening to me alone, then I would walk away and say that this was my entire fault, and I must obviously be doing something wrong. It unfortunately is not, and women are experiencing major letdowns all over the globe.
I have one friend in particular, who every other weekend she picks herself up, rents a car and drives across the border to visit her so-called “man”. I won’t say which friend of course, she might read this. Actually, no, she won’t read this, she is probably busy on the phone as we speak, cursing him out, asking him why he has not sent her any money. Again! So, therefore I can continue on with my story.
Don’t get me wrong, I am all for love and the pursuit of happiness, but paying for a rental car every weekend out of my own pocket, losing time and money from my job and driving in the snow, rain or shine, is not a smart move in my opinion. Especially in the snow! Look how cold Canada can get! As I told her one day,” If he was your man, you would not be borrowing money from me, a single mother of two boys. To top it off, she is always asking me to put money on your pre-paid cell phone for her. And that’s another thing, “why can’t this American brother get her a plan on her phone and have her ditch her pre-paid? If I had a penny for every time that she said to me,” “Girl, I can’t talk too long cause you are burning up my minutes.” I would be a very rich woman. Oh brother! I just chuckle and roll my eyes every time that she says this.
“My relationship is very important to me,” she says. “What relationship?” I ask her. “I have more of a relationship with myself and I am a single gal,” I think to myself. Those words bubble up on my tongue to say, but I, of course, say nothing. Besides the fact that she might call me mean-spirited, which she has done in the past on many occasions, she is personal trainer, and a good one at that. Free personal training three times a week, and the sculpted tush that I have now, thanks to her, makes me keep quiet. “No need to ruin the round rump” I rationalize to myself, because of her dumbness. “Summer is here and my rear is looking more and more like Jennifer Lopez’s or Kim Kardashian’s butt every day. So of course, I say nothing.
In my opinion there is no penis that gratifying for me to drive hundreds of miles for, in the snow or hail. I suggested that she try to receive her, “sexual satisfaction,” for a lack of a better description for it, via the telephone. Everyone in a long distance relationship understands what I mean. This of course does not go over very well with her to say the least. “For goodness sake, I say to her. This is 2009, get with the program and get a web-cam if you must!” She however, does not listen to my advice. To this day she can be seen burning rubber on the 401 on a Friday afternoon to ensure that she gets to the border in time because, “Him might want to borrow de car.” Most times with no bars left on her pre-paid cell or money in her pocket. Is this girl really a Jamaican woman I ask myself?’ He must be laying de pipes down good on her because I do not understand her logic. I think she has been in dis country too long and she needs a refresher course on being a woman, an island woman.
If this was a Jamaican or Caribbean brother, he would not have her doing these foolish acts. He would probably say something to the tune of, “Baby, it alright. How much money fe de phone and no botha come this week. Mek me we send the money next week and send a ticket for you.” I laugh every time that I go to a Western Union store and listen to the conversations as the Caribbean men send money to their women. You can literally see the pain on the guys faces as their women on the line tell them, very harshly I might add, that ,”what he is sending is not enough and she needs to find another man.” You should see dem scramble in their pockets to find more. It is hilarious to watch!
I myself have gotten tons of offers from men, for gifts and tickets: men with whom I have never had any intimate relationships with. I just received and offer two days ago from a hardworking blue collar man from New York. I, of course turned it down, but I appreciate the fact that he approached me the proper way. This Jamaican brother knows that my time is valuable and respects it, even if he is not rich.
If a Jamaican brother has ten women whom he has claimed in his head, his little black behind will work has hard as he can to keep them all. They might not get everything equally divided amongst them, but he tries his best. One girl might get a car, one her school paid for, one her dresses bought and one would get the vacation package. An American will expect to receive everything from women, and often he is not doing the proper things as a man, for any of his women.
I will be kind to the Yankee man and congratulate him for always being open to giving his women that."extra special attention down south,"if you know what I mean. Even though most or all Caribbean men oblige their ladies as well in the dark, we all know that them admitting this to their friends would be tragic. "Me don't do dem something de," a Jamaican man will say to his brethen. This is what he says to his friends but to his woman his words will be,"Baby no badda tell u frien dem bout dis alright?" We will keep it quiet for you Caribbean fellas.Your secret is safe with us.
I hold my sisters accountable to some degree for these irresponsible acts that we are experiencing. We allow these men to get away with murder and not feel responsible for us, or their actions. We continue to enable and be intimate with them. Women need to set their standards higher and expect nothing but the best from our guys. Then and only then will we receive the rewards.
Do not get me wrong, I am not saying that a man having ten women out there is right. However, I would rather have my man trying hard to please me than not trying at all. At least I know that there is a chance for it to work.
A Jamaican man knows that he has to approach a woman with more than just the pleasure of experiencing the, “Big wad, “between his legs. At least him wi try a likkle ting wid u! It might be with ten others at the same time, but he makes all of them feel loved and cared for. None will be left out. I think I might accept the Education package from now on and run wid it.I have always wanted to go for my Masters!
Sunday, May 3, 2009
Pick til she picks crap?
As the New Year rolled around and 2008 became nothing but a distant memory, I stared at the man beside me in the huge king-size bed with posters in the ceiling in Ohio and wondered,” Was I finally going to have a man in my life that I did not emotionally kill?.” I mean he was a gorgeous specimen of a man, tall, dark, handsome, smart, intelligent, ambitious and most of all funny - all of the qualities that I love. Of course I had also tested out the goods if you know what I mean and this man was a definite keeper with a capital K. I don’t care what us girls say, ‘Size and functionally does matter! Newsflash to all the guys, it does! He was a definite plus and I could see myself growing old with him but as all women know, if the man does not know what he has in front of him, it will never ever work!
I mean here I am, 40 years old, attractive, but still no ring on my finger as Beyonce sings as she flashes her 5 million dollar ring wedding ring. (what a show-off). I am baffled, as most of my friends and especially my mother are as to why I am still single. I cannot count the amount of times my mother has sat in our family dining room ,looked me seriously in the eye and asked,“ Sandy, are you sure that you are not a lesbian? Why you don’t have a man? Do you want to die alone? I figured that she must know a thing or two, she is 60 years old and has been single for almost 20 years.
I cannot say that I have not had my chances to become a wife or a significant partner to a few good men but for some reason it has never gotten to that final stage. Some of the times I honestly think that I messed up my own chances of marriage. There was the ambitious lawyer boyfriend in Atlanta who loved me dearly and only begged me to “Lay in the bed with me Sandy and hug me,” he said. At that time of my life it was all about my career and laying in bed with him in the middle of the day seemed like such a waste of time my valuable time. I do miss him sometimes though, he taught me to smell the roses and relax sometimes. Then there was the personal trainer who begged me to be his “second wife” as he puts it. He was married already of course but just wanted to take care of me. Of course I said “Thanks, but no thanks.” I mean geez, why would I want to be with a married man no matter how much money a month he wanted to give me for my bills? Needless to say after my flat-out no, he refused to train me anymore. “I will not make you any sexier for any other man,” he said. Men! Such babies!
Then there was the other businessman from Georgia who offered me a Visa to the United States, $20,000 worth of credit cards and a business to boost me along as long I remained his “Woman.”. I mean he was truly nice and all but he started acting kind of crazy in my opinion, threatening me, crying on the phone, emailing me every two seconds. I like a man that shows me that he truly cares but I don’t like a nut job, Visa or no Visa. Of course, I ran from him as if I heard news as we would say. To this day I still envision him walking around, mumbling to himself somewhere in the suburbs of Georgia. My girlfriend says that I must have “layed” it on him too good and so he was a little bit whipped. I’ll run with that, my stuff is good or so I have been told!!
Trust me friends, the life a single girl is fulfilling and interesting to say the least, but with no one to share it with, at times it seems meaningless. I keep thinking that I am too picky and set in my ways so therefore I am single and without an official man by my side. I truly do have high hopes for this sexy brother and myself in Ohio and like most women with a new love, I am intrigued by him. Occasionally, we do have our moments of anger and miscommunication, but his demeanor, self confidence and ability to stay toe to toe with me is at times quite humorous. He says that I that I wear him out but in my opinion he should consider himself lucky that he is even getting the chance. Do you know how many men want to get worn out by me? I ask him jokingly. I have to put him in his place sometimes of course. Women need to know their worth and I know mine!
I have come to the conclusion after pondering this issue intently over the last few weeks that I am not the one choosing a partner for me. Those past relationships did not work because they were not supposed to. Not to get religious here but the higher power up above I believe knows who is good for me and whom I am good for. I am getting preparation for the “One.” As women, we need to trust the Universe and not to settle with anything other than the best. We often tend to look at our age, as my mother does, as a sign that it is time to find that perfect man and settle down, no matter what is wrong in our relationships. Being emotional creatures, our tendency is to make decisions based on feelings, and often times desperation, as our age increases.
Being 40 and single is not a badge that I wear with honor but it is a true testament that I, Ms. Sandy Daley, is still hopeful that my prince will ride along on a white horse, with good credit and white teeth of course. He will whisk me up, kiss me squarely on my lips and whisper in my ear, “Where have you been all my life?” I wonder if Mr. Ohio knows how to ride a horse?
Jamaican-born, Toronto-bred beauty Sandy Daley is an actress, radio personality in Miami, television producer and a mother. Sandy has acted in over 15 films to date which has garnered her local and international exposure. Her charismatic, sometimes off-beat humor, highlights her uniqueness as an artist and is seen as one of the reasons for her longevity in the entertainment business.
I mean here I am, 40 years old, attractive, but still no ring on my finger as Beyonce sings as she flashes her 5 million dollar ring wedding ring. (what a show-off). I am baffled, as most of my friends and especially my mother are as to why I am still single. I cannot count the amount of times my mother has sat in our family dining room ,looked me seriously in the eye and asked,“ Sandy, are you sure that you are not a lesbian? Why you don’t have a man? Do you want to die alone? I figured that she must know a thing or two, she is 60 years old and has been single for almost 20 years.
I cannot say that I have not had my chances to become a wife or a significant partner to a few good men but for some reason it has never gotten to that final stage. Some of the times I honestly think that I messed up my own chances of marriage. There was the ambitious lawyer boyfriend in Atlanta who loved me dearly and only begged me to “Lay in the bed with me Sandy and hug me,” he said. At that time of my life it was all about my career and laying in bed with him in the middle of the day seemed like such a waste of time my valuable time. I do miss him sometimes though, he taught me to smell the roses and relax sometimes. Then there was the personal trainer who begged me to be his “second wife” as he puts it. He was married already of course but just wanted to take care of me. Of course I said “Thanks, but no thanks.” I mean geez, why would I want to be with a married man no matter how much money a month he wanted to give me for my bills? Needless to say after my flat-out no, he refused to train me anymore. “I will not make you any sexier for any other man,” he said. Men! Such babies!
Then there was the other businessman from Georgia who offered me a Visa to the United States, $20,000 worth of credit cards and a business to boost me along as long I remained his “Woman.”. I mean he was truly nice and all but he started acting kind of crazy in my opinion, threatening me, crying on the phone, emailing me every two seconds. I like a man that shows me that he truly cares but I don’t like a nut job, Visa or no Visa. Of course, I ran from him as if I heard news as we would say. To this day I still envision him walking around, mumbling to himself somewhere in the suburbs of Georgia. My girlfriend says that I must have “layed” it on him too good and so he was a little bit whipped. I’ll run with that, my stuff is good or so I have been told!!
Trust me friends, the life a single girl is fulfilling and interesting to say the least, but with no one to share it with, at times it seems meaningless. I keep thinking that I am too picky and set in my ways so therefore I am single and without an official man by my side. I truly do have high hopes for this sexy brother and myself in Ohio and like most women with a new love, I am intrigued by him. Occasionally, we do have our moments of anger and miscommunication, but his demeanor, self confidence and ability to stay toe to toe with me is at times quite humorous. He says that I that I wear him out but in my opinion he should consider himself lucky that he is even getting the chance. Do you know how many men want to get worn out by me? I ask him jokingly. I have to put him in his place sometimes of course. Women need to know their worth and I know mine!
I have come to the conclusion after pondering this issue intently over the last few weeks that I am not the one choosing a partner for me. Those past relationships did not work because they were not supposed to. Not to get religious here but the higher power up above I believe knows who is good for me and whom I am good for. I am getting preparation for the “One.” As women, we need to trust the Universe and not to settle with anything other than the best. We often tend to look at our age, as my mother does, as a sign that it is time to find that perfect man and settle down, no matter what is wrong in our relationships. Being emotional creatures, our tendency is to make decisions based on feelings, and often times desperation, as our age increases.
Being 40 and single is not a badge that I wear with honor but it is a true testament that I, Ms. Sandy Daley, is still hopeful that my prince will ride along on a white horse, with good credit and white teeth of course. He will whisk me up, kiss me squarely on my lips and whisper in my ear, “Where have you been all my life?” I wonder if Mr. Ohio knows how to ride a horse?
Jamaican-born, Toronto-bred beauty Sandy Daley is an actress, radio personality in Miami, television producer and a mother. Sandy has acted in over 15 films to date which has garnered her local and international exposure. Her charismatic, sometimes off-beat humor, highlights her uniqueness as an artist and is seen as one of the reasons for her longevity in the entertainment business.
Saturday, April 25, 2009
Where is my chocolate and flowers?
I am a 40 year old, single woman, who has not had a good relationship in five years and has no solid prospect in sight.
As Valentine's Day went by and the ads bombarded my everyday life like a truck coming at you with no brakes on, it hit me once again at the sad state of my love life.
Don't get me wrong, I am not upset because I am alone, I am more disheartened by the fact that I have no one to love. I long to cook, clean, take care of others and as this Valentine's day past and with no Valentine, again, I am left feeling like I have no purpose. Nothing brings me more pleasure than making others happy. Seeing my children's faces if I do something nice or my man's reaction when I rub his feet or when I put on that sexy lingerie makes my day. Which brings me to ask, "Was Valentines Day created to the barometer test of your true worth as a Woman? If as a woman, you are alone on Valentine's Day, with no loved one beside you, have you failed as a woman?
Sure, I have had some successful relationships in the past where on Valentines Day I was worshipped and adorned with gifts and words of love and great intimacy, but over the past few years I have been alone on Valentine's Day. This year is no different and for some reason it is hitting me harder at the thought of being alone. I am not too sure what to attribute this to, maybe the loss of a potential love that I was so hopeful for over the past few months or it may be the fact that I am 40 years old with no solid prospect in sight.
Many women that I know of, happily celebrating this day, supposedly in love, I know are living a life of lies and are not really happy. Yet they continue to play out the facade as if they are, happily running to the store to get gifts for their loved ones.
I see a lot of women,misguided and confused,running around on Valentines Day, rushing for chocolate, making that special dinner, buying the sexy lingerie and still knowing that they are not being loved the way how they should be by their men. You will see them in the stores, hitting you over the head for the last box of chocolate, fighting for that red lingerie at Victoria Secret, buying the crotch less underwear, picking out the wine, forever living the lie, pretending that they are in a great relationship.
Believe me, this is not the jealous ranting of a woman with no man. I would rather be alone on Valentines Day, pride intact, than to be with a man that is not treating me properly. " I just don't want to be alone on Valentine's Day,” says another friend of mine. "It seems unnatural." Although I understand her point of view because women are natural caregivers and love to take care of others, what is so wrong with being alone on this day? Maybe I am a little bit harsher than a lot of my friends and tough to handle, but I still think that the love that I have for myself outweighs the love for any man that I will ever have.
So to conclude, I do not think that I have failed as a woman because I have no special Valentine, (again), this year. I see it as the glass half full. In other words, my love is so important to me and should be also to the man that is on the receiving end that I continue to be choosy as to whom I should bestow my love to. As women, we should see ourselves as being so invaluable, so precious that the approaching Valentine's day should not be a gage stick as to our worth as women, but rather an affirmation of our unbelievable gift as women to be the rock of our families.
In my opinion, if as this Valentine's Day approaches and you are running around the stores like a mad woman, knowing that you are living a lie, the only person who really loses is you as your self esteem takes another beating because of what you are accepting in your love relationship. I am not trying to discourage you from putting on that special lingerie, or buying the wine. However, what I am encouraging is that on this special day, remember who you are, accept nothing but the best for yourself and your family. You should demand honesty and loyalty from your man because without that, Valentine's Day is just a joke. Your man should treat you as a gem, invaluable to him, the center of his world and you should feel as such. If not, you are both just playing games, being used as pawns on Valentine's Day to boost business sales.
As Valentine's Day went by and the ads bombarded my everyday life like a truck coming at you with no brakes on, it hit me once again at the sad state of my love life.
Don't get me wrong, I am not upset because I am alone, I am more disheartened by the fact that I have no one to love. I long to cook, clean, take care of others and as this Valentine's day past and with no Valentine, again, I am left feeling like I have no purpose. Nothing brings me more pleasure than making others happy. Seeing my children's faces if I do something nice or my man's reaction when I rub his feet or when I put on that sexy lingerie makes my day. Which brings me to ask, "Was Valentines Day created to the barometer test of your true worth as a Woman? If as a woman, you are alone on Valentine's Day, with no loved one beside you, have you failed as a woman?
Sure, I have had some successful relationships in the past where on Valentines Day I was worshipped and adorned with gifts and words of love and great intimacy, but over the past few years I have been alone on Valentine's Day. This year is no different and for some reason it is hitting me harder at the thought of being alone. I am not too sure what to attribute this to, maybe the loss of a potential love that I was so hopeful for over the past few months or it may be the fact that I am 40 years old with no solid prospect in sight.
Many women that I know of, happily celebrating this day, supposedly in love, I know are living a life of lies and are not really happy. Yet they continue to play out the facade as if they are, happily running to the store to get gifts for their loved ones.
I see a lot of women,misguided and confused,running around on Valentines Day, rushing for chocolate, making that special dinner, buying the sexy lingerie and still knowing that they are not being loved the way how they should be by their men. You will see them in the stores, hitting you over the head for the last box of chocolate, fighting for that red lingerie at Victoria Secret, buying the crotch less underwear, picking out the wine, forever living the lie, pretending that they are in a great relationship.
Believe me, this is not the jealous ranting of a woman with no man. I would rather be alone on Valentines Day, pride intact, than to be with a man that is not treating me properly. " I just don't want to be alone on Valentine's Day,” says another friend of mine. "It seems unnatural." Although I understand her point of view because women are natural caregivers and love to take care of others, what is so wrong with being alone on this day? Maybe I am a little bit harsher than a lot of my friends and tough to handle, but I still think that the love that I have for myself outweighs the love for any man that I will ever have.
So to conclude, I do not think that I have failed as a woman because I have no special Valentine, (again), this year. I see it as the glass half full. In other words, my love is so important to me and should be also to the man that is on the receiving end that I continue to be choosy as to whom I should bestow my love to. As women, we should see ourselves as being so invaluable, so precious that the approaching Valentine's day should not be a gage stick as to our worth as women, but rather an affirmation of our unbelievable gift as women to be the rock of our families.
In my opinion, if as this Valentine's Day approaches and you are running around the stores like a mad woman, knowing that you are living a lie, the only person who really loses is you as your self esteem takes another beating because of what you are accepting in your love relationship. I am not trying to discourage you from putting on that special lingerie, or buying the wine. However, what I am encouraging is that on this special day, remember who you are, accept nothing but the best for yourself and your family. You should demand honesty and loyalty from your man because without that, Valentine's Day is just a joke. Your man should treat you as a gem, invaluable to him, the center of his world and you should feel as such. If not, you are both just playing games, being used as pawns on Valentine's Day to boost business sales.
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